My bleeding heart...

All i am left with after writing this one...are tears, surging pain and aches...feels as thou am watching my own wrists slit through...and bleeding all the way

"He walks towards the door...
bleeding his heart over the floor...
she stands behind watching...
not a single word out calling..."

 

Standing in the rain,
getting drenched to the core,
each drop feeds on my pain,
the wounds afresh and pure...

My eyes they swell with tears,
the heart aches and longs for you,
haunting me were all my fears,
they won over me and came true...

You slammed the door of your heart,
leaving me all alone shattered,
in a fraction of a second, you just tore me apart,
with just thoughts in my mind and unanswered questions scattered...

You say I've changed...

I was never perfect,
but I tried hard to be...

I opened my heart to none,
but with you even that begun...

I was never the kind you wanted...
but now that i am...
you still got me haunted...

 

"numbness still brims over my soul...
blood feels ice cold...
am turning blue...
freezing with the loss of you..."

Reviews

[Fredrick Malkyor]

Dear Barricade,

I can feel the deep depression that is flowing out of the character like a waterfall of pain. No one is perfect, so why does everone try to be. Those who think that they are perfect is only seeing a mirage of their reflected selves. The only thing you can do is to just be your self in this matter.

Your Friend,

Fredrick Malkyor

[Lilith]

It's very good, but I noticed a few punctuation errors.
Great piece, though :]

[Geminair]

really liked this very intense my friend i can also sadly relate
"You slammed the door of your heart,
leaving me all alone shattered,
in a fraction of a second, you just tore me apart,
with just thoughts in my mind and unanswered questions scattered"

so true and you put that better than i ever could you have an awesome talent for poetry

[funeralmoon]

your pain makes a great story line..but doesn't everything that is bad make a good poem..lol this was very deep and dark.. very good...

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

Holy Wow Apple...this is amazing.
Great Job

[Mindless Mindset]

Painfully beautiful. It makes you feel raw and exposed. Very awesome! ^^

[lost inside]

"numbness still brims over my soul...
blood feels ice cold...
am turning blue...
freezing with the loss of you..."

I so love your ending here
This is one amazing write
i could feel the powerful emotion in this.
It was such a gut wrenching write in a way.
Well written.

[Vesa Lee]

So much sadness.
So much pain.
Your piece has left me heavy-hearted.
Good write.

[Michelle Long]

I absolutely love it!
You do an amazing job at telling a story,
and with painting it, as well.
This piece had me locked from start to finish.

[Ama May Cooper]

wow.. thats amazing .. and i totally empthasize even with the wording and the way you feel... that brought tears to my eyes and painful feelings re surface in me.
You are a wonder with the words .. i am impressed it is beautiful in a sad and morbid kinda way do keep writing