[untitled]

torn into pieces...still not willing to give up... ( just don't know how to title this one...)

Am bruised, am battered...
am broken, am shattered...
knowing you feel I'll never understand you...

i can go all cold...
putting my life on a hold...
but what is it to you...
cos I'll never show...

you going through a lot...
and you feel i just ain't there...
am hiding all my pain...
just to wipe your share...

am giving everything i can...
reaching you with an outstretched hand...
but what is it to you...
cos you still feel that I'll never understand...

what is it that i lack...
what expectations do i fail to meet...
cos all i ever had...
is right there at your feet...

all i wanted was just a smile...
but whenever i take a step to you...
am pushed beyond a mile...

there are times when i feel i just cant take it...
yet this heart still cries " yes we can make it"...
they say somethings are meant to be...
and maybe it is "you and me"...

am willing to take the rudeness,
am willing to take the blame...
just to turn away your sadness...
i will walk through this flame...

I'll face his endless test...
and even if my eyes shut...
my soul will never rest...

people say it's "destiny"...
but i shall fight my own...
rip me apart, thrash me, throw me...
or even cut me down...

but I'll walk, I'll limp, I'll crawl...
even thou a thousand times i may fall...
but I'll still move towards you...
cos i just know "i love you"...

and i just won't ever let you slip away....

Author's Note

just put my feelings down in this one...my tears, my blood, my cries...my determination of wanting to try endlessly...
P.S- do help me title this one...suggestions, critiques welcome....

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Very Hartfelt and deeply emotional... I see images of inner thought and emotion and outer effect. I saw the burning questions of "what if?" show up as well.

With what I saw... here's a few possible titles.

"If-ing the Onions layers"
"The Eye-Oh of Inner Reflection"
"Peeling the inner facets of my thoughts"

Just idea's :)

[Edens Lily]

Whereever this has come from, I hope you don't cry for long.
It's almost as if you've taken you're heart that's been torn and put back together as words. Very heartfelt and honest. The world would be a better place if poeple could be as honest as this.

[Anita B Jacques]

The title, simple, "I Love You", A great write, lots of emotions and heartache, I could feel your pain, like you were talking to me. A beautiful love poem. Thank you for sharing. God Bless you.
Hugs....Annie

[EpicKizzy]

i love this poem and i belive a good title would be i understand

[Brandon]

The grammar relates to how most people speak which gives it a more realistic feeling.

Well done

[emmajoy]

Tragedy in poetry. Your feelings just scream from the screen!

'all i wanted was just a smile... / but whenever i take a step to you... / am pushed beyond a mile... '

if this is true - it must be painful beyond words; if it's fiction why then, you have the most vivid sensitivity and imagaintion.

Thank you for sharing an incredibly powerful post.

There are odd small errors which would be easy to sort out.. .

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is certainly such a heart wrenching piece of writing...your emotions are flowing here so effortlessly!
Really very deep and painful....beautifully sad!
Great work :)

[N. N. Grainger]

it is very emotional and well channeled

all i will say is get rid of the slang is distracts from the emotion you're trying to show

good luck; great work

[Emily Wright]

I can feel the emotion. I am sure you took a lot of what people are feeling and put it into words. Very good poem.