[untitled]

torn into pieces...still not willing to give up... ( just don't know how to title this one...)

Am bruised, am battered...
am broken, am shattered...
knowing you feel I'll never understand you...

i can go all cold...
putting my life on a hold...
but what is it to you...
cos I'll never show...

you going through a lot...
and you feel i just ain't there...
am hiding all my pain...
just to wipe your share...

am giving everything i can...
reaching you with an outstretched hand...
but what is it to you...
cos you still feel that I'll never understand...

what is it that i lack...
what expectations do i fail to meet...
cos all i ever had...
is right there at your feet...

all i wanted was just a smile...
but whenever i take a step to you...
am pushed beyond a mile...

there are times when i feel i just cant take it...
yet this heart still cries " yes we can make it"...
they say somethings are meant to be...
and maybe it is "you and me"...

am willing to take the rudeness,
am willing to take the blame...
just to turn away your sadness...
i will walk through this flame...

I'll face his endless test...
and even if my eyes shut...
my soul will never rest...

people say it's "destiny"...
but i shall fight my own...
rip me apart, thrash me, throw me...
or even cut me down...

but I'll walk, I'll limp, I'll crawl...
even thou a thousand times i may fall...
but I'll still move towards you...
cos i just know "i love you"...

and i just won't ever let you slip away....

Author's Note

just put my feelings down in this one...my tears, my blood, my cries...my determination of wanting to try endlessly...
P.S- do help me title this one...suggestions, critiques welcome....

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Very Hartfelt and deeply emotional... I see images of inner thought and emotion and outer effect. I saw the burning questions of "what if?" show up as well.

With what I saw... here's a few possible titles.

"If-ing the Onions layers"
"The Eye-Oh of Inner Reflection"
"Peeling the inner facets of my thoughts"

Just idea's :)

[Broken.buddy]

All the "..." at the end of each sentence show a loss of words of what you are feeling inside you. Glad that you have opened it up into such a beautiful poem. Well done. Inner turmoil of a chaos.

[Ayesha Atif]

Woah!

I love the way you write. Just love it. I'm glad you sent me these requests.
Reading your work never goes in vain. Seems gave a worthy of time to it.

I just want to relate to it. But in a different relationship.
Keep writing. Keep writing. Keep writing and keep exercising your talent!

[Blue Ivory]

By "his endless test" did you mean God? Cuz in that case the "H" should be capitalized. This is very deep and heartfelt. I think it would make a good rap song. I really enjoyed it. Great work. :)

[Cassie]

whooo!!!! this is sad..you have brought the emotion clearly well.

[shallimarRose]

Darlin' This is heartbreaking.. I am sorry you go through these feelings and tears.. Your ink runs red and it is very powerful.. For a title how about "Expectations/determination" I am so glad you sent me the rr on this one.. Thank you... xo Rose

[Mindless Mindset]

It was wonderful! I loved it! The determination is endless and powerful. Simply brilliant. ^^

[Stephanie]

"Evolution of a Broken Heart"

Had to get that down before I forgot. This was jam packed with heartbreak, sadness, depression, and all those emotions we never want to feel. We try so hard, just to have that one person tell us it's not enough and push us away.... It's one of the hardest things to go through. Again, I just wanted to give you a big hug! You poured out your soul and wore your heart on your sleeve......amazing piece.

[Frances O'Neill]

Very nice! Here are a couple of suggestions for titles, My Hope, My Only You.

[♡Moon Child♡..]

Awww...this poem...it made me cry...wow very good!

[emmajoy]

Suggested title:. Trying, crying .. or Crying, trying.. ?

Reading this again .. it's so very sad. (You)