eight tears of crimson won

how do I let you win? never to fight you back...!! Its always the last time, the last time..... Only It never ends...I see nothing in the future and too much of the past. My head is always swimming and their is never  no way back.. once I let you happen I begin to feel safe... how do you make this happen, you dont even have a face....your only in the voices that come screaming from my head. I wish I never heard you, you make me feel dead..