finding the horses

One day I went to find wild horses.  That day I found them and I got on the main male in the group.  He was very fast because he was very wild.  The next day I went again I got on him again he was very fast to ride he took me with him to his herd.  Then he slowed down to his herd or he would make his herd run far up the hill he got him self very slow he was at a walk.  His herd came to meet me and they liked me the first time they met me they let me in the herd.  I never went home or they  might forget me because they are wild so I never went home cause of them being all wild and no training the male lets me ride on him.  Because of mylegs so he gave me a ride on him.  The others were used they and me would play with me whin i wanted to play the foals would playwith me to have fun.  I never went home again I liked to be in the wild with the Stallions herd.  Was very fun to be and to play with the foals that are starting to grow bigger.  My mom and dad started to look for me they looked for the wild horses.  They knew were to look they found the horses in the field that one of the farmers that lived next door the farmer never put a fence up never had animals the horses ran away from them I was on the male horse.  We were in the head of the herd. 

Reviews

[barbaro]

yeah i know i wrote it when i was in 6 or seventh grade

[Brooke]

Not bad - I'd use some more imagery and have some sentence variety (for instance, commas and semi colons, different sentence lengths, etc.) ; but, a good start.