Chapter 6: Elemental Airlines

Jack boards Elemental Airlines and makes new friends.

He stopped when he entered the building. He looked around and saw that it looked like a normal airport, but a little bit smaller. It had employees at the metal detecting archways, electric board telling of incoming and outgoing flights, luggage mover, and lots of other things. He took a deep breath and smelled the sweet scent of the airport. He proceeded to the desks across the room to get his ticket. He approached it and saw a woman dressed like a normal airport employee typing on the computer.
        “Miss?” he asked.
        “Yes? Oh Student, of course. Year?”
        “One, I guess.”
        “Okay...” she said as she typed. A little slip popped out of the machine next to the computer. She handed it to Jack.
        “Have a safe flight young man.”
        He took it and smiled at her. He turned and walked around. As he walked, he caught glimpses of very young kids about his age. A pair of girls were wearing Marilyn Manson hoodies and talking to another girl, who had a snobby look to her. “I should be clear of her.” he thought. When he turned away from them, he saw the machine used for transporting luggage to the planes. On a metal plate above the machine, it read: Freshmen. “Must be where I put my luggage.” he thought out loud. He sat his stuff on it and watched as it spun into the machine and disappeared.
        Beside him, another kid was doing the same. The dark skinned kid looked at Jack with easy eyes and extended a hand. He took it with hesitation.
        “Bruce Gordon, Electricity User.”
        “Jack. Jack Flareson.” then began a prolonged silence.
        “And?” asked Bruce.
        “My Element?”
        “Duh,”
        “I can’t say. Parents want it to be a secret.”
        “Good plan. Well, it was nice talking to you. See you around?”
        “Yeah,” he said as he shook Bruce’s hand.
        He walked away without another word. Jack seemed confused on why a random boy talked to him. “On the plus side, he didn’t say anything about my eyes.” he thought. Since he had some time to spare, he walked around again to explore. After 30 more minutes, he was being tripped, because he had bumped into a young girl carrying a heavy bag to the machine.
        Some of her clothes fell out, which was kind awkward for Jack.
        “Oh no my clothes” she moaned.
        “I am so sorry Let me help you.”
        As he helped her, he got a good look at her. She appeared to be his age, black hair in a pigtail, nails painted purple, average sized glasses, and freckles. To Jack, she looked like another version of Katelyn. As he put the last of her shirts into her suitcase, he helped her up.
        “You ok?” he asked.
        “I’m fine. Sorry I tripped you. I was running a little late. Traffic.” she said.
        “I see.” he held out his hand. “I’m Jack Flareson.”
        “Susan Gates. This your first year?” she asked as she shook his hand.
        “Yeah. I’m kinda nervous. You?”
        “Little bit. What’s your Element?”
        Before he could answer, a female voice boomed on the loud speaker. “Will all First year Students please report to the first Elemental Airlines plane? Thank you.”
        “Come on, let’s go.” he smiled.
        “I’ll catch up. Gotta dump my stuff into the machine. See you on the plane Jack Flareson.”
        “See you too Susan Gates.”
        She nodded greatly at him. After waiting nearly ten minutes at the back gates, the entire freshmen class was escorted through the runways. He occasionally saw Susan, but often lost her in the crowd of 20 to 30 freshmen. As they passed the planes, he got a good glimpse of their names: Freshmen, sophomore, Junior, Pre-Senior, and Senior. All the planes were the same size, all white, and all big.
        When they made their way to the Freshmen plane, a tall woman in her late 20's was wearing small square glasses, a brown trench coat, and high heels was waiting for them. She was accompanied by another woman and a very old man. They were ordered to walk in a straight line and not to make a fuss. They did as they were told. Jack was near the middle of the line and saw weird characters in front of him. A blond, spiky haired boy was a few feet in front of him, while a girl with purple hair stood behind him.
        When they all got aboard the plane, they began to find their seats. Without much trouble, Jack found a seat in the very back, way on the left. There were three columns of dual seats and seven rows. The seats were made of soft leather. He sat down right by the window and gazed outside. He could see older students getting into their planes. “Maybe we land first?” he thought. He made himself comfortable and tried to sleep, but he was wide awake with excitement. It wasn’t even a minute afterwards before he was interrupted. He looked and saw the blond spiky haired boy
        “May I sit with you?” he asked.
        “Sure,” he answered happily.
        The boy sat down gracefully and extended his hand.
        “Sam Roulk, Earth User.”
        “Jack Flareson, Element to be revealed in due time.” he joked.
        “So Jack, you excited?”
        “Yeah. You know anything about this school?”
        “Only from what my older sister tells me. She’s a senior this year.”
        “That’s cool. Say, who are those adults up there?” asked Jack.
        “The lady in the middle is Ms. Telik, the schools Guidance Counselor and she is a Telik User. No pun intended.”
        “Telik User?”
        “Telekinesis User. Supposedly they are considered the strongest of all Users besides... you know.”
        “Fire Users?”
        “Yeah. I don’t intend on meeting one anytime soon. I’d hate to get on their bad side.”
        “Who’s the old man?” Jack pointed out
        the old man that he pointed out looked to be in his 60's. He was bald, wore hand me downs, and had a very messy name tag that was still readable. It read: “Hello, my name is Hugh Metron.”
        “Hugh...” laughed Sam. “The smelliest, most disgusting janitor in the entire school. Look, Ms. Telik is covering her mouth to avoid the smell.”
        “What’s he like?”
        “Well, I hear he is real nice, but no one really talks to him. Rumor has it, he is a Wind User. No one has really seen him use his Element. Other say he is ‘normal’ and is here because of the principal.”
        “Oh. Who’s the other woman?”
        The last woman was a young girl, possibly in her late teens. She wore a nurse’s uniform, high heels, and a long skirt to avoid the stares of looking boys. Sam had to remember for a bit, but eventually came to an answer.
        “Lizzy Beuce, the Assistant Nurse. She is an Earth User like me and graduated from her a few years ago. Carly Cicle is the Main Nurse and Lizzy is her cousin. Guess she got a job her recently.”
        “Wow. Can’t imagine what the classes are.”
        “I hear we are gonna have Elemental Offense and Elemental Defense.” said a female voice in front of them.
        A red headed girl with an angel like face and a boy with curly hair, acne, and braces peeked over the seats. The boy was not a nice sight for Jack. “Is he the janitor’s son?” he thought. The girl extended her hand and shook both their hands.
        “The name’s Violet Solomon. This is my cousin, Charlie Winlow.”
        “H-H-H-Hi,” he stuttered.
        “He stutters a lot.” she whispered.
        “Yeah, I can tell.” said Sam.
        Jack managed a laugh. He shook Charlie’s hand with a smile. They began talking about what they’d expect at the school.
        “I for one,” started Violet. “Am excited about Elemental Psychology. Sounds like an awesome class”
        “Doubt it.” said Sam. “Sis says it’s a real boring class. Not as boring as History of the Elements, though.” he stated.
        At this point, the entire plane was filled up with the three staff members and the entire freshmen class. When all was settled, the plane doors closed and Ms. Telik stood up. Everyone paid attention at once. Her black, silky hair covered her right eye, which she moved out of the way.
        “Attention students Attention” she said in a nice, sweet voice. A few students kept on talking.
        “SILENCE” she yelled in a strict, demanding voice.
        The two students quieted down.
        “Good.” she smiled. “Now, to business.”
        She grabbed out a clipboard and went through some papers. She counted every student to make sure that they were all there. She smiled in happiness and put it on her seat. Jack and Sam looked at each other.
        “Now, my name is Ms. Telik, but I’m not here to introduce myself. When we arrive at the school, you will all follow me to the Main Chamber, which will hold the opening ceremony for new students. From there, you will reveal your Element to the entire school.” Jack gulped in fear. “That way, we can determine what kind of abilities you may possess. Afterwards, Principal Tyga will do his opening announcements about the school year. Finally, freshmen will exit the Main Chamber first and I will escort you to your dorms, where you will sleep and whatnot. Any questions?”
        No one raised their hand.
        “None? Well... good. If you do have any questions, see me on the second floor of the school in the Guidance Office. Enjoy the flight.” she said cheerfully as she sat back down.
        Jacks heart began racing. “I have to show my Element to the ENTIRE school?” he thought. He was on the verge of hyperventilating when Sam grabbed his shoulder. He calmed down almost instantly.
        “Dude, you ok?”
        “Yeah. Just nervous.” he lied. “First time flying.”
        Sam smiled and nodded. “I know how you feel.” As he said that, the engines started up and within minutes, they were in the air. Bound for a school that was hidden from the world. Jack sat back in his seat and gazed out the window while Sam was talking to Violet about classes. He eventually drifted off to sleep and looked dead.
        An hour later, he was woken up by Sam, who was eating a Snickers.
        “Why’d you wake me up?” he asked annoyingly.
        “I had some candy bars in my bag and thought you’d want one.” he said as he handed one to Jack, who took it slowly.
        He unwrapped it and began to eating. Before he finished it, he was the center of attention.
        “W-W-What’s up w-w-w-with your eyes?” asked Charlie.
        “Yeah, I’ve been wondering that too. Thought it be rude to ask.” said Violet
        “It’s no problem guys.” said Jack. “I was born with them. Doctors have no explanation for them.”
        “What did your parents think of you at first?” asked Sam.
        “They got freaked out. Like they literally screamed at the hospital when I first opened my eyes. When they got me home, I... umm... injured’ my mom somehow.”
        “Wow,” said Violet, looking amazed. “Those eyes make you look cool, Jack. Wish I had eyes like that.”
        “No you don’t. I was made fun of all my life for them. I hate them.”
        “It’ll be ok dude.” said Sam. “We won’t say anything bad about your eyes. Like Vi said, they look cool.”
        “Y-Y-Yeah. I l-l-like them.” agreed Charlie.
        “So changing topics, how did you guys discover your Elements?” asked Jack, looking curious.
        “I was seven.” said Sam. “I was mad at my sister for teasing me about having no Element. So I slammed my foot on the ground and a little tremor came and knocked her off her feet. Vi?”
        “I was nine when it happened.” started Violet. “My dad was working on a wooden chair, because he’s a carpenter. So, he was using the saw blade and one of the blades broke off and headed for me. I flinched and before it hit me, a flimsy metal wall came up and protected me.”
        “I w-w-was eight. I w-w-was b-b-blowing out m-m-m-my birthday candles a-a-and blew t-t-too hard. C-C-Cake went e-e-everywhere.” he laughed.
        “Wow,” said Jack.
        “So, does anyone know anyone here?” asked Sam.
        “That girl over there,” Jack pointed to the girl called Susan. “That’s Susan Gates. I met her before we got onto the plane.”
        “Did any of you see those two girls that are always together?”
        “Yeah,” said Jack.
        “They are Laura and Martina Harper. I had a conversation with them before we got on. They are so weird and very boy crazy. Watch yourself Jack. They may come after you.” she laughed.
        “What about me?” cheered Sam. “I’m not bad looking!”
        “Imagine if you were a Fire User, they might be all over you.” she joked.
        “My parents say those kind of Users are feared.” interrupted Jack.
        They stayed quiet when he mentioned this. “Why is everyone avoiding the subject? What will they think of me when I’m revealed?” he thought.
        “So,” he continued. “You guys know of any famous Users?”
        “Oh, yeah!” said Violet. “There are loads like Ernie Parker the Ice User. He saved President Eisenhower from being set on fire during the war. Most Users who save important figures are often lost to history, but the Elemental Scholars keep records of them all.”
        “Yeah, there was also Cynthia Watson the Metal User who saved an entire city from a tsunami back in the 1940's. She was killed in the process, but everyone was indebted to her. Again, she was lost to normal history, but not ours.”
        “Wow. So many important Users. Makes me wanna stay awake in History of the Elements.” joked Jack.
        He looked out his window and saw one of the other planes coming into view. A student much older, with a military cut, stared at him and began making rude faces. He nudged Sam.
        “Who’s that?”
        They all looked out at the next plane.
        “Jeremiah Evans. He is one of the popular juniors. Ignore him.” Jack nodded.

        Night came far too quickly for the new friends. They had just arrived in a mountainous area, with turns that would easily destroy them in one wrong move. Jack looked out the window and saw pitch black. It felt like one of his nightmares, but real. He closed the shade down to avoid the gaze of darkness. “Jaaaaaaaaaaack,” he heard.
        “Jack!” shouted Charlie. “You never t-t-t-told us y-y-your Element.”
        “Oh? Umm... I can’t say. Not yet.”
        “Parents wanna keep it a secret?” asked Sam. “That is very smart. Surprise us all.”
        “Pretty much, yeah.”
        “Nice. You look like a Metal or Water User.”
        “If only you knew Sam. If only you knew.” he thought.
        After a few hours of flying, they were closing in on the destination. Jacks legs began to shake, his teeth chattered, and he was as still as a statue. Sam was worried. He placed his hand on his shoulder and patted it, trying to calm him down. It was working for a little bit.
        “Dude, you’ll be ok! No one is gonna be surprised by your Element.”
        “Yes they will.” he said to himself.
        “What was that?” asked Sam.
        “Nothing,” he lied.
        “How much longer, Vi?”
        “Not long now. Very soon!” she replied.
        Jack looked around and saw everyone was getting ready for the landing. Ms. Telik was talking on her cell phone, and she looked very suspicious. He could faintly hear her: “Yes... Okay... Well, get it done ASAP!” she hung up in a flash. The other staff members looked at her and wondered what she was talking about.
        The boys were talking about how excited they were, except for Jack. He was still quiet. The clouds outside were dark, wolves howled, and ravens cawed. It was like a scene out of a horror movie. The killer would wait in a dark area for his unsuspecting prey to show up. Then, once the pray was seen, he would pounce! Jack felt like he was the prey in the killer’s sick game. Violet alerted them to what she was seeing outside the window.
        “Guys?” she asked. “We’re here.”

Author's Note

Please be honest and point out grammar and punctuation mistakes. Please comment on how you like the story. How do you feel about Jack and all the other characters, and the character development

Reviews

[olla]

you have worked very hard and it shows.. finish the book then set it aside for a few days.. when you read it you will see places where you can refine it.. mark them on your first draft.. then you will be able to go back and smooth the rough spots.. keep writing..

[Taylor H.]

It had employees at the metal detecting archways, electric board telling of incoming and outgoing flights, luggage mover, and lots of other things. ----take out "lots of other things" its not professional to have that in stories.

He took it and smiled at her. He turned and walked around. As he walked, he caught glimpses of very young kids about his age.----would sound better if you take out the "he turned and walked around".


“I can’t say. Parents want it to be a secret.”
“Good plan. Well, it was nice talking to you. See you around?”
-----wouldnt that give away which one he is??? And I think the kid would be annoyed if he didnt tell him (just because he would be curious to know)

“On the plus side, he didn’t say anything about my eyes.” ----and with kids who have elements and know all about it, wouldnt his eyes give him away anyway?

They did as they were told. Jack was near the middle of the line and saw weird characters in front of him. A blond, spiky haired boy was a few feet in front of him, while a girl with purple hair stood behind him.----its repetitive to say they were in font of him twice.


“The lady in the middle is Ms. Telik, the schools Guidance Counselor and she is a Telik User. No pun intended.”
“Telik User?”
“Telekinesis User.
----I still think you need a different last name for her. Its waaaaayyyy to convient that thats her last name. And why would they be called Telik Users if the correct term is Telekinetic?

From there, you will reveal your Element to the entire school.” ---I would re word this. Maybe say you will perform your element. They arent hidding them

“That way, we can determine what kind of abilities you may possess. ---should they already know if they are going to that school?

I will escort you to your dorms, where you will sleep and whatnot----Please take otu the "sleep and whatnot." part. That through off the whole thing.

. Like they literally screamed at the hospital when I first opened my eyes. When they got me home, I... umm... injured’ my mom somehow.”----they didnt see till they got home

They stayed quiet when he mentioned this. “Why is everyone avoiding the subject? What will they think of me when I’m revealed?” he thought.---if this is a thought make a new paraghraph and take.

like this:

“My parents say those kind of Users are feared.” interrupted Jack.
They stayed quiet when he mentioned this.
“Why is everyone avoiding the subject? What will they think of me when I’m revealed?” he thought.

“Nice. You look like a Metal or Water User.”----with red eyes?

I think this was your best chapter. I did enjoy this a lot. Needs work but the overall plot of it is good :)

[Leslie Philibert]

Like the balance in the text between description and dialog. I`ll look at this again.