Careless in Coach Class

Little piece of story.

A mother is wrestling a Jazberry Jam Crayola out of her little boy’s hands in the seats across from me. She is victorious and replaces the sticky crayon with an aircraft blanket. It is not well received.

Small television screens flicker with fuzz as a safety cartoon on the back of each chair begins to play out it’s routine.

A heavily perfumed hand on my shoulder.

“Sir could you buckle up please?” smiles the fattest air hostess I have ever seen.

I nod and do as I am told and she swings her hips away from me in a too-tight pencil skirt.

The happy cartoon continues displaying the dangers of obstructing aisles with large objects.

I glance back at the hostess, who is now pointing out the nearest exists and practically bursting out of her blouse at the same time and think about the irony of it all.

A grey haired woman in a tracksuit gestures to sit in the middle seat next to me so I unbuckle my lap belt and let her pass through.

I stretch my legs for a moment and it feels great.

The hostess wobbles quickly up the aisle on her struggling kitten heels and is right back on my case. She asks me once again to strap myself in, this time less politely and her eyebrows have sunken half an inch. She doesn’t notice the tracksuit lady.

What’s the f*****g point of seatbelts on a passenger jet? It’s not like a reinforced strip of woven fibres is going to save anyone when the whole bird explodes mid air.

The little boy starts to cry and the hostess looks at me with utter disgust.

Only then did I realise that I had said those things out loud.

I figured it was too late to try and erase images of spiraling planes in the kid’s mind and I ask to be moved.

I am placed in between two restrooms at the very end of the plane. There are no views, no visible windows from where I am sitting. The back row is entirely empty except for myself and today’s newspaper.

The cabin smells of s**t. I guess I deserve it.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[ecto521]

A good demonstration of descriptive prowess.

[Mark]

nice little bit

[Sarusai Hiryu]

Amusing.

[A]

That's a nicely written story, I liked your style, well-done.

[guiltyascharged]

Niiice. I once did that. I didn't get seperated from my 'rents though. I just got yelled at. Nice write, keep it going.

[Matthew D. Ford]

Great story! To the point and sounding very serious while being funny and blunt. Very good! I would love to find out what happens after he is moved, though. :)

[Looouise]

That's a pretty neat story. :]

[Zeek4]

It's like the story of my life. Loved your portrait of life in the friendly skies.