Finding me

A Story by mfrazier

Dealing with divorce through a child's eyes

It was starting out to be a typical Saturday morning as I laid in bed listening to my dad cook breakfast but for some reason I felt as if something was wrong. Maybe if I just stayed in bed I can remain in this tranquility and life will continue without me, but my stomach is growling and I can't ignore the amazing smell from the kitchen any longer. "Good morning, baby". "Good morning" I mumble back to dad as I grab a plate. We ate in silence watch cartoons while i wonder where my mom was. I figured she must have gotten called out for work, she was always at work. With my biscuit I slop up the last of my gravy when dad says "Let go for a walk after you get dressed". I knew it, what's going on? It didn't take us long to get to the park since our house was across the street. After I few minutes I finally couldn't stand it, "where's mom?" He sat down and instantly tears streamed down his face. "she's gone. she left and she's not coming back" I went numb and all I could focus on was that the strongest man in my life was broken right in front of me. How could she leave her family. I'm so confused and broken but I have to try to stay strong. As the days passed by the silence of the phone ringing became louder. Did she not love me any longer?

"Molly, you need to go to the office." Mrs Kelly, my sixth-grade teacher instructed. I walked down the hall knowing to expect to see my father there to sign me out. The dreaded court date had finally arrived. He was expecting me to tell everyone that I wanted to live with him. I sat in the chair next to the door watching my dad talk to the secretary as he signed his name. I couldn't hear their words because my thought were consuming me. Even though I was full of anger and hurt I loved her, she was my mother. How could a child be asked to chose which parent they would neglect. I couldn't bare to live my life with any choice I made. Isn't this what the judge is for, to make the best choice? "I cant." I heard myself say. "I'm so sorry I can't choose" my eyes quickly looked away to avoid seeing him hurt again.

The school bell rang out and my heart dropped while everyone else jumped up to grab their backpacks. The sun blinded my eyes as I exited the school doors, but I didn't have to wait for them to focus to recognize her black car sitting in our driveway. Dad had already prepped me the night before, "Your going to live with your mom for a little while, but we'll see each other as much as possible. " She had 'won' me in court. My dad is always is the one helping me get ready for school. When I was younger he would even brush my hair. Why did the judge think I shouldn't stay with my dad? He was suppose to pick the parent that took care of me.

She seemed as if the last few weeks never existed. I sat in the back seat of the car glaring at the back of her head getting angrier every second she ignored the situation. The music blared but there weren't any words to cover up as the car traveled unknowing where we would end up. I tried to stay angry at her as long as I could but it was like I had moved into that apartment with a best friend instead of the irritable woman I was use to. For the 1st time I felt as if she really enjoyed me.

TBC.....

© 2017 mfrazier

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Featured Review

Kayja Symphious

Oh, yes. Kudos for taking on such a personal and confusing subject. Without a doubt, anyone who has gone through such a thing, will be taken back. It's not something that ever goes away.

While reading this, I saw my father standing in his new yard while we drove away.

Continue this.

Kayja