Finding me

   I laid in my daybed listening to my dad cooking breakfast. It was starting out to be a typical Saturday morning but for some reason I felt as if something was wrong. Maybe if I just stayed in bed I can remain in this tranquility and life will continue without me, but my stomach is growling and I can't ignore the amazing smell from the kitchen any longer. "Good morning, baby".  "Good morning" I mumble back to dad as I grab a plate. We ate in silence watch cartoons while i wonder where my mom was.  I figured she must have gotten called out for work, she was always at work. With my biscuit I slop up the last of my gravy when dad says "Let go for a walk after you get dressed".  I knew it, what's going on? It didn't take us long to get to the park since our house was across the street. After I few minutes I finally couldn't stand it, "where's mom?"  He sat down and instantly tears streamed down his face. "she's gone.  she left and she's not coming back"  I went numb and all I could focus on was that the strongest man in my life was broken right in front of me.  As the days passed by the silence of the phone ringing became louder.  Did she not love me any longer?  

      "Molly, you need to go to the office." Mrs Kelly, my sixth-grade teacher instructed.  I walked down the hall knowing to expect to see my father there to sign me out. The dreaded court date had finally arrived.  He was expecting me to tell everyone that I wanted to live with him.  I sat in the chair next to the door watching my dad talk to the secretary as he signed his name. I couldn't hear their words because my thought were consuming me. Even though I was full of anger and hurt I loved her, she was my mother. How could a child be asked to chose which parent they would neglect. I couldn't bare to live my life with any choice I made. Isn't this what the judge is for, to make the best choice?  "I cant." I heard myself say. "I'm so sorry I can't choose"  my eyes quickly looked away to avoid seeing him hurt again.