Nightshift

Just a poem I wrote for class recently

Eleven p.m. on Tuesday night
and you are at work again.
Tonight I am a pilgrim trekking
across the tundra of our room.
Granite slate and ice
support my legs and back.

The television offers me some
distraction in its crackling
and light blue flickers across
the walls, my candle
that will not burn out.

I have Oreos and milk,
rations, for my night’s journey.
I only need to make it until
morning. Our dogs are asleep
at the foot of my sleigh,
doing me no good.

I need your fingers wrapped
in my hair. Close my eyes.

Just eight more hours
and then I can sleep.

Reviews

[avarien]

very pretty
I like this one>>>

[Anthony Garcia]

I need your fingers wrapped
in my hair.
aww, such an awesome image =]

[Nana Carmine]

Wow. I really like this. It flows together beautifully and the ending was great- a nice romantic twist. Thank you for sharing with us.

~Nana Carmine

[oneZtwoLLs]

Good flow. Easy read. I like the simile of the bed a sleigh in a tundra...
It's not the same without your partner there.

Keep writing.

[Edward Clay]

i liked the ending, that romantic waiting, that need, so desperate. perhaps then, to sleep is not to close your eyes and drift into a slumber, but to be totally at home, comforted by the presence. the poem ends perfectly. a wonderful write.

[Wolfwind Words]

This was a cool read! Simple and honest. I totaly can relate to the journey of being alone with the loved one gone. Even though you know they will be back. Each hour drags on. The imagery was wonderful. I especially like the oreo's. Keep up the good work!