Walk of the Night

Chapter 1 to The Murky Pool

  The night wind whirled around them. The trees were swaying back and forth like a human with no bones. The forest was especially gloomy that night. A layer of dew rested on top of the grass. The air felt as if it would stick to someone's skin. That was where Chaser and Lacy were walking.

  Chaser held Lacy's hand in his, intertwined to never let go. There was no noise, just the chirp of grasshoppers in the ground.

  "So, how was Southshade High today?" Chaser asked Lacy.

  "Oh, you know, same old, same old. I went to lunch with Jamie, and then I went to my 8 classes. Boring right?" She answered.

  "Well, maybe. Though, I don't think that anything could be as boring as my day at Northshade." He replied lighthartedly.

  "Aw, I don't know. What are we doing for your birthday tomorrow. You know Tuesday, July 20?"

  "You sure it is my birthday Lace? I don't think it is."

  "Chaser now you know I am dragging you out of your house for your 17th birthday. So, where do you want to go?" She replied annoyed.

  "Sorry, I know. Okay, how about a movie?"

  "Sure! That would be great! What movie?"

  "I don't know, we will decide when we meet there. Is 8 o'clock a good time?" He replied with a little more ease.

  "Thanks Chase! Love you!"

  "Love you too, Lace!" He smiled.

  Chaser sat down on the nearest log. He weaved his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. She sat willingly. He touched his lips to her neck, and she instantly turned in his arms.  Their mouths linked together. There was the slightest whisper of their breaths.

  In between the kisses, Lacy broke away.

  "I love you Chase."

  "Love you too Lace. Will you.." He came to an abrupt stop when a shadow came over Lacy and Chaser.

  "Aaa..." Lacy screamed till her throat went raw. She could not see a thing.

  "Lacy, I will be back!" Chaser yelled at Lacy. He was farther away.

  Lacy regained her sight a minute later. There was nothing in sight. She ran as fast as she could out of the murky woods, hoping to see Chaser again. Though, she was scared she wouldn't. She was also scared that she wouldn't be able to know what he was about to ask.

  Who knew what was about to change?

Author's Note

Spelling please! Please tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Livana Lowell]

Spelling is fine, but be careful. You have ALOT of dialogue. And I see what you kind of did. You told all the setting in the beginning and then laid out the conversation.

I think you should at least make Lacy and Chase's conversation a little more indirect so that Lacy and Chase have distinctive personalites- bleh I mean unique. Also, even if you do have the conversation, more characteristics could be revealed.

I like the little twist and it makes me want to read more to find out what's up, but I think this could be so much stronger and still be a good first chapter. Elaborate and don't just tell things. Also spell out your numbers when editing.

Other than that, well done.

[Jayden Hawke]

Like Destani said....WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

[Hope Wilson]

WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!