Attack of the Muses

Do you receive assistance from the Muses at the most desirable times?

Get away from me, and leave me alone!
I’m trapped here in the gallows.
Give me some peace, let me enjoy this drink,
And the relaxation that follows.

Whenever I lay my head down to rest,
Or try to abuse some substance,
You come in my head and sing to me
In a voice of angelic elegance.

“Come to me, my child of art,
Let me give you some inspiration.”
But sometimes things are black and white,
I don’t need your differentiation.

Come when I call, not at your whim,
Be my assistant, not my master.
Follow my lead, show a glimmer of light,
And we’ll get this writing done faster.

I’ve had enough you little Muse, you’re bothering my drink,
I’m not asking for Cupid’s arrow.
All I ask is for some calm and quiet,
While I avoid the straight and narrow.

Goodbye little Muse, I’m not carrying a pen,
I’ve got a pistol for this occasion.
If you don’t leave now, I’ll use it, I swear!
Hey, you!  Please come back!  I didn’t mean it!  I just need one more line and I don’t know how to end this without you.  Hey, barkeep!  I need another bottle.  Now!

Author's Note

If you're not laughing by the end, then I missed the mark.

Reviews

[Legion]

LOL I've said it before and I'll say it again. My muse(s) is trying to kill me. They aren't as friendly as you all might think. Thanks for pointing some of their maliciousness out for the poetic public to see. I think we should start an organization to help stomp out unwanted musings. We could call it Musinix or something like that. Or is that a cold rememdy. Oh well, you get the idea. Great write.

[Pauline Marie Daley]

haha. that was awesome. unexpected ending, which just made it more funny. So true though, I was in a meeting and couldn't get away and found myself sneaking a line or two on a page under my book. Sometimes inspiration just gets in the way, but lets face it - as writers, we can't live without it! Great job. :-)

[Dashiell]

I love the poem. I always have those moments when my head is filled with ideas and when I get to the computer/notebook I've got nothing. I thought the ending was hilarious too.

[Paza]

I completely understand this one. I lie in bed at night, lines running through my head when I'm trying to fall asleep. Then when I can actually sit down to write, nothing....nada. I love your ending...doing everything in your will to rid yourself of the demon muse, then pleading for her to come back...great poem!