when the thoughts rule over

A Story by Samantha

trigger warning, I need to let it all out...

What's the plan now?

Follow your dreams, Sam, cutting gets you f*****g nowhere.

Don't do this don't do that...

I can't breathe, I can't stop shaking or talking to myself.

The thoughts are taking over, they rule over me.

I don't want to make you cry, never ever wanted to.

You lied to me, a long time passed and lies upon lies piled...

You said this...

you're pathetic, you don't want people to know how fucked in the head you are, you push and push, I've never trusted you, you're f*****g delusional, you never loved him, go f**k yourself, you make things up in your head and make yourself believe it, you just look childish, you want people to feel bad for you, little miss sam has to get attention, they were never your friend.

I really thought you were a friend but for years on end you broke my heart and made me cry.

you yelled at me and hurt me, crushed me really.

I cut myself cos of this... yes weak but I didn't know what to do.

I'm suicidal.

I CANT BREATHE.

you left me...

I take antidepressants, I know if I let go of fear it would help but...

I can't breathe.