SELFISH is my new name..

A Story by Samantha

Im selfish, only a few can admit it.

S is for sensitive, I'm a sensitive person and I try my best to stop that. its hard to say when it started or if it will finish, but I do know I cant help but cry when Im yelled at even though its over something so small.

E is for explain, I try my hardest to explain how I feel but every time I go to say a word it sounds like I'm under water and no one can hear me screaming. The pain that follows through that silent scream its unbearable.

L is for the way people lie through their teeth, I'm guilty of doing this as well but the truth spills out so their is no point in lying through that odd smile of mine.

F is for frightened, the way I shake until i feel sick to my stomach and burning of my eyes. The shaking needs to stop its making me feel like I'm locked up in a box underground unable to get out nor breathe right.

I is for inside, inside of my body, mind and soul! No matter what I say it cant explain how i truly feel because I'm not always so sure myself.

S is for stop, STOP STOP STOP I yell to myself to get the thoughts out but silence falls upon my ears with a eerie feeling.

H is for Hell, my head is hell and the world around me is the devil.

Im not the only one fighting the voices and thoughts inside, not everyone is strong enough to handle them. Finding someone who can understand truely understand, following your mind isn't always a good idea, most thoughts lead to hate and harm to oneself or to another.

The darkness scares me, I'm 17 and still scared shitless. Im so scared someone is going to hurt me I don't know who but I need my fairy lights on to feel some what safe.

Nightmares upon nightmares, nothing stoping them besides waking up every hour but when i fall back to sleep its a new nightmare, more deaths and terrifying creatures.

I get shot in the head every time i cry, the thumping in my head feels like someone breaking down a door trying to save their baby. I cant breathe nor stop the silence taking over my mind.

I cant stand the fact that someone can tell a white lie even though they have done something completely wrong, I get moths inside my tummy its more tighter then having butterflys.