I JUST WISH I KNEW...

For someone who would never say goodbye,
You found a way to say it loud and clear.
For someone who hated finality,
You committed to something so final.
I wish you could say when you were “alone.”
Surrounded by such a large family,
Mobbed by a circle of very close friends.

And each one of them tells the same story.
They tell of how you have changed these last months,
Spending less time with your family and friends,
And more and more time alone in your room.
Your mother says you were always online.
She said these new “friends” had somehow changed you,
Not able to put her finger on it,
But she could she the change, and hated it.
Last night, you even showed me how you changed,
When you fell into my arms and cried
Publicly and in front of witnesses.
For someone who never cried in private�"
You never allowed sadness in your life�"
You embraced it like a lover last night.

And I guess I just do not understand,
That is all that I am trying to say.
I don’t understand how the girl I knew
Would ever make this choice to end her life�"
So senseless for someone so sensible.
And I just wish I knew why you did it.