Finding the woman in me

Finding the woman hiding inside myself

I’m not embarrassed over that it took me over 40 years to find the woman in me, IM just proud I found her.

People go there whole life and never find her but I was blessed to find this happy, strong independent and wonderful woman.

For years I kept thinking I had to fit in, I had to be like all other women that I should follow the standard of everyone else, I guess mostly what I grew up seeing.

What finally happened was someone broke my heart, he left me and I felt lost.

I woke up the next day thought it was just a dream, but I turned over and he was really gone.

Now looking back it was the very best thing there could have ever happened to me.

He made be wake up, made me look at myself in a whole other way. I stopped looking at myself as having to be like my mom or any other women I knew.

The change didn’t start happening from one day to another, but when I finally got the courage to look myself in the mirror I didn’t like what I saw.

I saw someone who didn’t love herself, who had not dealt with her past and someone who just simply had lost herself. I had let life just slip by me.

Slowly I learned to deal with the past, forgive myself and others for past mistakes and believe me that took a lot of tears.

I started loving being alone, having me time and doing what I really enjoyed doing. It changed how I looked at myself I looked in the mirror and saw a woman who was finding victories every day.

Something else happened to me I looked at myself with loving eyes, I looked at myself with joy and saw a sparkle I didn’t even know I had.

I found courage to say no to things I didn’t want to do just because people expected me to do them. No I didn’t become a b***h I just simply became me and being honest about what I wanted to do or not.

I felt the change deep inside, I felt myself waking up happy every day, not complaining and being able to see the positive even I set backs. No road to healing is without setbacks.

I no longer just let life slide by, I LIVE EVERY DAY and I live happy.

Through all this I got diagnosed with a life altering decease and the old me would have crawled into bed cried for day’s maybe even months. But this new I looked at it as another way to be stronger to love life even more and never miss out on anything. To take every moment as a blessing.

I realized though my journey that we as women so many times minimize our self to fit in, to be accepted and to not stir the pot.

But the reality is that each one of us have the right to be who we are, to not be okay with something, to stand up for our self.

We do all these things to sometimes keep the man we love, but what we forget is that if the person really loved us they would love us for the beautiful person we truly are.

Sometimes we are just so use to not showing who we really are, we are not being honest with people if we want differently or if someone steps beyond a boundary we are not okay with. Truth is that we do this things yes to not stir the pot, to not lose a man, to fit in or whatever the reason is, while we the whole time are not true to our self.

Being true to your self is also being true to the people around us, it’s having faith that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. It’s finding the woman in you, being honest with her and loving her enough to stand up for her.

Yes though my journey I can honestly say I have lost “friends” but I found me and found out who was truly my friends.

What I really want to do with my beautiful life now is just live to the fullest, inspire other women to BE YOU.