Prologue

On a dark, stormy night, the vampire slept peacefuly...JK!!!! But if you want to see it, go on ahead!

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR OPINION IS! I WANT THAT PEICE!" A trembling brownie scurried away as fast as its tiny legs could carry it, clutching its brown hat. It left behind a 14-year-old girl glaring at the wall. "If you want anything done around here, you have to do it yourself!" She muttered to herself as she stomped down a dark corridor and through a door. She came out on a balcony with a splendid view of an old stone castle (the one she was in) with green mountains and valleys surrounding it.

There, she turned to what looked like a giant bird nest. The thing was, their was a huge, black beast lying in it. "Wake up, my beastie," she purred, petting the dragon. "I'm afraid we can't trust anybody these days. could you do an errand for me?"

The dragon slowly opened its eyes to look at the girl. It sat up, looked into her eyes, and nodded. It then procceded to get up.

        "Thank you." The girl briskly turned around to adress another brownie that ran up, this one with a purple hat. The dragon took off, and silently sped away, its three black tails swishing behind it.

        "Yes, miss! Of course!" The purple hat brownie ran away just as the first one had, muttering praise to the girl as it left. Content, the girl turned once more to look out at the night, smirking at the brownie as she did so.

  She held out her hand and in a sprinkle of dark purplish sparkles, she held a metallic dark pointed staff. See through wings with jagged dark purple edges sprouted from her back and her plain black tunic turned into just as black armor. She then took flight zooming through the night. 

Hours later, at the break of dawn, she set down in a schoolyard, and, in the blink of an eye, was suddenly dressed in a school uniform, her flowing black hair straightened behind her and a shoulder bag replacing the staff. She walked in without a hesitation and the door closed behind her.

Author's Note

Took a while, but here it is! Hope you like!

Reviews

[Marque]

What a great start! I'm excited to learn the source of her power, the nature of her authority and the the mystery of this kingdom, but most of all I want to know what she wants a piece of and why she wants that one! Auspicious! Now FINISH. Love, Dad

[Silent Wolf]

Not bad, but could use a bit of work. There could be new paragraphs between new events, such as a new speaker or something the character does or thinks. Also, when you're describing the castle, you should say "an old stone castle." Otherwise, not bad.

[Farrsight]

Thank you for the advice! I will fix it right away!

[Silent Wolf]

Welcome ! :)

[Calibaster]

Could be longer, and needs more paragraph breaks … other than that, good job! ;)

[Farrsight]

Thank you!

[Calibaster]

Welcome. ;)