To One I Am A persons Tersure To Another A Peice Of Trash

Just somehting I was feeling at the moment.

To one I am a person's tresure,

To another a peice of trash,

I've falling in love with a man,

Who make me want to crash,

 

Crashing to the floor with so many tear's,

Cause I feel all alone cause there's no intamisy here,

He does what he wants to do,

Not knowing that it hurts me,

 

It hurts my heart deep down inside,

That all I want to do is breake down and cry,

I dont even know why I even try,

Try to show love when I feel hurt and cry,

 

To one I am a person's tresure,

That's were my children come in,

But yet to another a peace of trash that's were he come's in.

Author's Note

Just the way I felt at the time things do get better thanks to the grace of god.

Reviews

[Heather]

Belinda,

I think this poem has excellent emotion in it...almost desperate sadness. The only thing I would critique is that your rhyme scheme is not consistent. So, for example, your first stanza is A, B, C, B and then your second stanza is A, A, B, C. I can see why you might do this intentionally, to make the reader uncomfortable, as much so as the character in this poem. I figured if that wasn't the case though, maybe you would want all of your rhyme patterns to match. Overall though, I really do like the emotion that this piece got across....thanks for sharing!~

[starry123]

I like your poem. I also can relate to your poem. I agree Thanks to the grace of God things get better.

[Kevin Andros]

This is very true about people's opinion about one person. this happens with every one on this earth. ONe should never give a damn about the person who thinks that you are a peice of trash. Care about those who thinks that you are treasure.

Enjoyed this. ~KA~


P.S. I think you meant to say Peice instead of Peice and treasure instead of Tersure in the title

[SoullessPrincess]

This is a great poem I have to say i kind of know how you feel

[[untitled]]

Very painful. It's hard when we let someone else determine how we feel. It does get better when we learn to love ourselves more. I'm working on the same thing.

Great piece.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Unrequited love, is adoration that is not reciprocated, even though complementation is deeply desired. A partner may not even be aware of the other's deep feelings for them. This can lead to feelings of depression, low self-esteem and anxiety.

You write a poignant, yet sad poetic tale.

Thank you for sharing! Note: there are a few spelling and grammatical errors which are cosmetic and in no way detract from the emption displayed.

God's Blessing
Phillozofee

[Cliff Rhodes]

Another note:
fallen instead of falling

But yet, to another a piece of trash; that's were he comes in.

I'm not so sure of the punctuation. I don't know exactly where to put the commas.
I know that introductory clauses before the subject get commas, and then just to help the reading, and to set off other things.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_comma.html

Have a nice day.

[Cliff Rhodes]

Hello Belinda,
I am going to try to be helpful and do what I would want someone else to do for me.
There are a few corrections that I made for you, just misspelling, and I left the Cause instead of Because, for rhythm. I didn't change any ideas that you created.

To One, I Am A person's Treasure, To Another A Piece Of Trash

To one, I am a person's treasure,

To another a piece of trash,

I've falling in love with a man,

Who makes me want to crash,

Crashing to the floor with so many tears,

Cause I feel all alone cause there's no intimacy here,

He does what he wants to do,

Not knowing that it hurts me,

It hurts my heart deep down inside,

That all I want to do is break down and cry,

I don't even know why I even try,

Try to show love when I feel hurt and cry,

To one I am a person's treasure,

That's where my children come in,

But yet to another a piece of trash that's were he comes in.

You might use spell-check and that would help before posting. I use it all the time, almost every time.
You have a great deal of thought in this piece and I liked the rhythm.

[Brenda Sue]

Very deep feelings and written very well. A few misspelled words but a great write.

[Flutterby]

its a good poem... portrays your true feelings :-)