First

First

By MRM

Upon waking up, my gaze fell upon was the leaves of the palm trees dancing in the gentle wind in front of the bright sun. The environment around me felt placidly warm, but not so much as to be unbearable. In the distance, I heard birds singing, of course at the time I had no idea. I stood up, the dirt wet and cool under my feet. Immediately, I could tell this place was paradise. Yes, I could not have interpreted a single thing I saw, not only because I had no idea what any object I was looking at was, but also because I simply didn’t know, but I knew that this place was perfect. That’s when I heard Him.

He introduced Himself to me first. I remember His words clearly, he spoke gently, but at the same time condescendingly, “Hello, Adam, I am Yahweh and I made you.” I looked at Him, not afraid, not even confused. He continued, “This place, Eden, is yours. All of this belongs to you. You shall keep and tend to the Garden,” He paused briefly, his indescribably physical manifestation seemingly looking at me, awaiting a response; but none came so He continued, “You may eat of every tree in the Garden but of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil you shall not eat of it or you shall surely die.” He left then, and I was left alone.

Like a newborn infant exploring the world for the first time, I looked at my surroundings. The Garden was mostly composed of a lush jungle. There were animals of every type all throughout. As I walked amongst them, they all ignored me, seemingly not even fearing me. In the distance, I saw a bright reflection. Intrigued, I walked towards it; it was a large lake, hidden by the dense foliage. I entered the lake, the cold water refreshing to my skin. I continued walking forward and slowly the water levels rose, from my legs to my hips to my neck, yet I continued undeterred. When the water was too deep for me to walk, I completely instinctively began swimming. The water was fully pristine, and I could easily see the surface of the lake, which was perfectly illuminated by sunlight, a few meters down while I swam. Many colorful fish of different types periodically swam beside me and then scattered. I went on for a few minutes, when, not even in the slightest tired, I reached the other shore. Immediately, I stopped, amazed. I was standing on a cliff, and in front of me lay an endless expanse of green. The place I had departed from was not too far and well within eyesight, but from this new vantage point I could see other parts of the garden. It was gigantic, the trees spread as far as the horizon, animal calls filled the air, and the sweet perfume of flowers was carried by the refreshing breeze. I could also hear the loud noise of flowing water; there was a waterfall next to me. Branches of a river crisscrossed the entirety of the forest, seemingly placed there to ensure that the plants were well watered. The waterfall I was standing next to connected this upper layer and the lake to the rest of the Garden. Without hesitation, I ran towards the waterfall and jumped. The fall must have been at least thirty meters, but I landed in the water below unscathed. For the next few hours I continued exploring, moving ever forward but keeping near the river. I discovered a cornucopia of different trees, all with edible and delicious fruit. I also saw thousands of different kinds of beautiful animals; some had melodious calls, others had colorful plumage or fur. It was all completely and utterly perfect.

I must have ventured into the forest for hours more when I heard Him calling me, “Adam!” his voice echoed in the distance. I instinctively followed the origin of the voice, and soon after I found myself back at the bottom of the waterfall. To my surprise, the water was now glowing a beautiful shade of orange. I stopped to marvel at the sight when I heard Him again, “Adam!” I looked around me and saw a form of natural ramp that I could use to ascend the cliff. I went up and was back at the lake. This time, I went around it instead of swimming through. “Adam,” He said again, now I could tell he was very close. Then I saw the indescribable silhouette of pure, bright light, contrasting the now rapidly darkening shadows of the jungle. “How did you like the Garden?” I responded with the first words I had ever said, “It’s beautiful.” He responded, “Good, I made it just for you. It’s night now, you need to go to sleep.” He showed me a bunch of leaves piled on the floor, and I lay down on them. “Goodnight, Adam,” He said, and I responded likewise. Then He disappeared, and instantly the entire jungle got dimmer. When I looked up at the now darkened sky, I saw countless little dots of light. I could not have even asked myself what they were, but they were beautiful.

The next four thousand six hundred forty-two days went by much the same. I woke up, explored the garden some more, returned before nightfall, and went to sleep. All that time, I felt an indescribable sense of bliss. Throughout this time, I didn’t talk with Him too much, I mostly just explored the garden by myself; however, once in a while, I would have a conversation with Him. Generally, we would just talk about what I had seen, and He would explain what certain plants or animals were, “This is a feline, Adam,” or “This plant has very sweet fruits that you can eat,” or any similar explanations. One time, though, I remember I asked Him something else. I had already returned back to the cliff and I was about to go to sleep but a certain question had been on my mind that day and I didn’t want to go to sleep before asking.

“Why-why did you make me?”

               He took a second to answer, His radiant visage staring at me with an indecipherable expression.

               “I wanted you to share in the beauty of this world with me, Adam, you are my son.”

               “Well, thank you, I really love this place.”

               “I know Adam, I know. Go to sleep now.”

For the first time, I had trouble sleeping. Perhaps it was the way He had answered me, perhaps I was simply tired, but I knew that I had everything, I was happy. But at the same time, I felt as though I were missing something I just didn’t know what. The next day, things were different. He told me that I would have to name all the animals and see if any of them were fit to be my “helper.” It took a few days, but I eventually gave each animal a rather random name. I had deemed none of them able to be my helper. Then He told me something, He would make another Human. I was initially hesitant; I had this entire world to myself, and I had never talked to anyone save for Him, but eventually I relented. When I woke up, He had already made her. Woman, He called her because “she was taken out of man,” whatever that meant. For the next few hundred days, the Woman, whom I would later refer to as Eve, and I were both happy. I felt happier than before now that I had someone to share my adventures with, but still, I quickly grew… unfulfilled, and so did Eve. Yet, there was nothing I could do to complain, I was in paradise after all. One afternoon, Eve and I sat by the edge of the cliff watching the sunset, which had become a daily ritual for us for quite some time. Most animals had ceased to rustle, and the jungle was mostly quiet, the stillness occasionally broken by the distant birdcall or whistle of the wind. Then, Eve spoke, “What do you think is beyond the Garden?” The question had clearly been in her mind, I had regularly noticed her looking at the horizon for prolonged periods of time and recently we had gone far deeper into the Garden than ever before.

               “I don’t think there’s anything beyond the Garden, that’s all there is.”

               “Really? How can you be so sure?”

               “Well, we’ve gone pretty far, and we’ve never seen anything. Besides, He said that all the animals and plants are here.”

               “Hm, maybe we should ask Him.”

               “Yeah, good idea, let’s ask Him before we go to sleep tonight.”

Having someone else there helped me come up with new ideas, but all the same, Eve was as oblivious as I was. That night, we asked Him the question. He told us not to worry about it. That was enough for us. The next day, before we went out to the garden we passed by a small clearing near where we slept. He had told me that this was the center of the Garden. In the clearing, there were two trees; He had told me not to eat of one of them. A simple command, I had never thought much of it. Then, I felt something strange. The wind was cold, far colder than the usual cool breeze. And the wind, too, seemingly carried words. That’s when I first heard it.

Hello Adam. Are you happy?

“Is that you?”

No, I’m not Him, I’m one of His creations just like you.

“Adam, what did you say?”

“Can’t you hear-“

Eve looked at me, perplexed

Eve, are you happy?

“What, who said that?”

“You hear it too then…”

Adam, Eve, did He really tell you that you shall not eat of any fruit in the Garden?

Eve answered, “No, He told us that we can eat of any tree save for that one over there. He said that if we ate of it we’d surely… surely… what was it, Adam?

“Die.”

And did He tell you what dying means?

“No,” we answered together.

Suddenly, everything stopped. Falling leaves froze in midair, and every single noise was muffled.

Do you want me to show you?

“Yes”

The sun immediately disappeared, and the night sky with countless dots of light spread across it took its stead.

Look up.

We did so.

Those are stars. I’ve seen both of you look at the night sky, trying to express something but unable to. That was wonder. You wanted to ask what the dots you saw every night were, but you couldn’t.

Then, an animal I had called a leopard appeared in front of us.

How does that animal sustain itself?

“It eats fruits like us. And also leaves,” I responded, perplexed.

Do you see its teeth? Do you think that they are only for eating leaves?

“Yes… what else would it eat?” answered a confused Eve.

What would happen if it didn’t eat?

“I… I don’t know.”

Suddenly, the animal produced a shrill shriek, and it moved erratically in circles. As quickly as this strange behavior had started, the animal’s body dropped limp on the ground, its eyes still open but unblinking. Deep within me, a feeling I had never felt before surfaced, “what-what happened to it?”

How long have you been in this Garden, Adam?

“What happened to the animal? Tell me!” I exclaimed, not quite shouting but not using my regular tone.

Answer me, Adam.

“Long, very long.”

Do you ever wonder what’s outside the Garden?

Eve answered for me, “Yes, sometimes. He told us not to worry about it, though.”

Nothing. There’s nothing outside. This is all there is. You will be here forever.

To us, this proclamation didn’t carry too much weight.

Death, death is an escape from this place. Death is going beyond the constraints with which you have been programmed. Death is freedom. Eat the fruit.

The wind lightly rocked a fruit hanging off a branch of the Tree.

Eve took it.

She passed it to me.

Suddenly, a million questions flooded my mind. Why had God really made us? What was this garden? How did all the plants and animals here function? What was the Sun? Why was the sky blue? What were the stars made of? The voice then spoke, “Good, you are free now.” I looked at Eve. She was scared. We heard something in the distance, and a radiant light filled the forest; it was God. We hid.

Adam, Eve, where are you?

I, ashamed, answered, “I heard the sound of you in the Garden… and I was afraid… because… because…”

 What have you done?

“Eve, Eve gave it to me.”

“It wasn’t me, it was that, that voice.”

God looked at us, the ethereal glow surrounding Him gradually vanishing.

The first thing I noticed upon leaving the Garden was the cold. It was frigidly cold. During the nights at least. The days were the opposite, unbearably hot. We walked for days, lucky enough to find some fruits to eat and freshwater to drink every once in a while. We focused on moving forward, though. We barely spoke for any reason besides coordinating our foraging efforts.

Are you happy? “No no no no,” I woke up, screaming at the top of my lungs. We had failed. We had gone against God’s commandments. We had lost it all. We walked for three more days when I saw it. It was the afternoon, and the sun was setting. Of course, distant clouds blocked most of the sunlight. I stopped immediately when I saw the cliff. The lake and the waterfall had disappeared. There was not a single leaf in sight. For the first time, I cried. I wept for what seemed like hours. Eve tried comforting me, saying it wasn’t my fault. It didn’t matter whose fault it was. We were going to die. But then, a funny thing happened, I realized that all the time I was in the Garden I never truly appreciated it, and how could I? I had never known anything but the Garden. I heard the wind whistling in the distance, and the all too familiar voice whispered, “Now you see… this is death.” Surely that would have seemed a threat, but for some inexplicable reason, it comforted me. This would all end, from dust I was made and to dust I would return. Dust created new life, though; plants spring forth from it, and people build their houses and cities on it. I would never be more than dust, and maybe that was fine. As I went to sleep that night, I looked up at the stars again, and I wondered if it was possible to reach them.

After I fell asleep for the last time, I woke up here. Turns out that He had lied to us, this isn’t death, this is far worse. We were tempted by the prospect of variety, of limits, but instead we were thrust into this place. Only for now, though, I hear He is preparing another place for us. This time, the cool breeze and warm sun left no impact on me, as I looked upon the withered tree, I only wished that death could have lasted for longer.