Never had Him to Begin with

i thought you loved me
i guess i was wrong
this whole time you lied
i thought you were different
you were friends with him
i should have thought different.

so alright i got it
stop lying to me
stop smiling every time you're hurt
i know beneath those tears
it's only amusement

you took a huge piece of my heart
you may have taken that for granted
but oh well it doesn't matter
i gave you my heart of my own free will
take it and rip it apart
whatever you want.

sorry to have clung on so tightly
i loved you for no reason
i couldn't come up with one reason why
why my heart would come alive
just by a stare from you
just by a small kiss from you

obviously you're done
i am an old toy now
broken and in the garbage.
i wasted all your precious time
coaxing you into seeing me
they were all a waste of your time.

the time we spent together
meant so much to me,
to you they were only mere play dates
right?

every time i think of that
i laugh and scoff at how pathetic i turned out to be
sorry for all the love i gave and sorry for the misunderstanding.
you're love doesn't belong to me.
let's stop trying to do something that's one sided.
go find someone without trying to hold on to everyone.

i learned it's only being selfish
if you hold on to everyone
who you know, they still love you.
let go.

that's what we'll both do i suppose.
stop clinging, that's what i'll do
become someone you like, would you?
i love you too much to just leave you with nothing.
this is really goodbye now...

that's what i hope.

Author's Note

yes i found someone i love now...my heart he holds now...but the one i loved before that had no significance. i still have no explanation as to why i love him so dearly. but now i don't want to try to figure this out. he said goodbye with the last time he saw me. he doesn't love me the same way i love him. oh well.