Splinter's Love

i thought i had accepted these tears you would cause.
i have, but it still hurts
all i can do is laugh at such nonsense.
being fooled this many times
shouldn't it be illegal?

hearing such a thing while being so happy,
with you in mind, all i can do is be stunned.
shocked, crazed, numb.
i don't know what to think.

i don't want to love anyone other than you,
but it hurts, i already accepted this kind of pain.
i can't imagine being pulled back by someone else..
being kissed by someone else.

but i can imagine you doing that to someone else
i can imagine you being unfaithful.
you warned me and i remember.
i still can't shake you off my heart.

i don't know if you're lying to me still.
i don't know if i'm being played again.
i just want you to be smiling,
to actually be happy,
i want to hold you in my own arms.

although i can't,
i know this and i turn away.
i am the one not good enough.
i'm not matched with you probably..

i love you so much!
i can't emphasize that any more!
i love you!

my tears mean nothing now,
they only cause so much pressure on this heart.
they only fall and i still smile.
i don't know what else i can do.

should i leave you alone?
just because you wish it?
because it would be best?
i still want to try.
i don't want to lose you.

my body keeps shaking in fear.
it became cold everywhere when i don't have you with me.
i truly want to disappear,
i want to dissipate from existence.

i'd rather watch over you,
as your sweet guardian angel with eternal tears.
everyone would be better off.
true they would be sad.

but sadness passes by,
i'm only saying they would be better off.
you especially would be.
that person surely was.

no doubt i am the main problem to everyone's demise.
though i wish to go away,
i'm so scared to find the darkness that's been with me all along,
it's been right behind me.
but i never turned around.

everything's become numb.
i'm losing everyone.
maybe it's for the best.
to lose everyone,
to forget about love.

i'm only a splinter in existence,
i'm too stubborn to fall out,
even though i've been hurting myself,
hurting everyone around me.
and for that i apologize..