Every Second of Every Day

free-verse....

i don't know what to do

he says he loves me but he loves her

she broke his heart and came to me

i gave him love,

i gave him smiles,

i gave him warmth....

but he still loves her...

i love him so much,

though does he know how much he's killing me inside?

when will he just think of me?

forgetting her and just think of only me?

he's breaking my heart...

i don't know how to handle this, i don't know what i need him for...

i love him, i truly do

but he's still breaking my being....

saying he loves me over a text,

and says i'm beautiful...

the texts stop and he's crying,

crying because of her.....

i want to die and i want to get rid of this feeling i have for him.

i want to rid of her but i can't...because he loves her.

i want to die but he says i can't...he needs me

but he wants her.

i cry and think of him every second of everyday

i'll never be his only one....his cherished one...

one day he'll leave me and take her....or she....or that girl....

i'll be left alone in the darkness.

that day is coming soon and it comes closer every second of everyday....

when can i die? when will he just leave me alone?

but i can't leave him alone....i can't stand to be away from him.

i want him, i love him, i want to die because of him.

because of her...he doesn't look at me the way he used to...

because of her he pulls away from me....

i clench my jaw, hold my fists close to my heart,

....ready to strike....ready to move on.

then he comes and tells me he loves me and tells me to stop.

i can't stop!

"you love me but i love her..." he says.

i know that...

"i need you!" he screams.

although i love you.

"you want me but i want her..." he admits.

i have no answer..

every second of everyday you say you love me,

you need me,

you want me,

then you say you like me,

you say you're busy,

you say you're going to see her today...

every second of everyday i'm dying inside.... you say don't die....

but my heart already died....

does my body and face just satisfy you?

my fake smile, my hollow laughs...

every second of everyday i wait for you to tell me you love me

to tell me you'll never leave me....

and tell me you have forgotten her.

when will that day come? when will i stop crying?

will you say it before my heart stops beating?

will you say it before i stop breathing?

...will you tell me before i kill myself?

///__///____//_/_______________

 

every....second.....every....day....

Author's Note

this relates the the free verse involving the "they"