The Intervention

This is the first chapter from my upcoming book "Life From The Dead End Of The Street"

The Intervention

When I woke up this morning I felt no different than I felt any other morning. As I laid in bed I thought about the day that stretched out in front of me and I could not see how it would be any different than the days that stretched out behind me. I finally got my feet to the floor and I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the morning rituals I had followed for many, many years. I started by praying the same unanswered prayer I prayed every morning. I then went into the bathroom and wiped my eyes and looked in the mirror. Unfortunately I saw the same image of me I saw every morning, although I did notice I had lost a little weight. I then took a shower and got dressed for work like I did every morning. As I walked out my front door I thought to myself, “this day is going to be like every other day of my life.” I did not know how untrue that statement would turn out to be as I stepped out my front door into the barbed wired world in which I faced every day.

The first time I noticed something different about today was when I stopped at a red light and another car pulled up beside me. I looked over and I saw a man who looked to be about seventy six years old was driving the car. He was staring at me with a most unusual expression on his face. I then saw him take his elbow and nudge the woman who looked about the same age as him. She then looked at me and her mouth immediately dropped open. By that time the man was staring straight ahead and I thought I could make out him saying, “Don't stare Martha.” If that is what he said it did no good because Martha kept staring at me with her mouth hanging open with a strange look on her face. I turned my head back forward and saw the light had turned green. As I drove away I could not help but think how stranger and stranger people were getting. As I was driving away I could hear car horns blowing so I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the car the old man and Martha was in had not moved. I only shook my head and said, “people, people, people.”

When I arrived at work I parked where I always parked and got out of my car and went inside. As I walked passed the front desk I noticed that the woman behind the desk was trying not to look at me. I thought that was odd because she usually said hello and asked me how I was doing. I thought maybe she was having a bad morning so I thought no more of it. I went and got on the elevator and I noticed that everyone in the elevator worked on the twelfth floor of the building just like I do but they all just stared forward like people tend to do in elevators. As the elevator door was closing a woman I had never seen before got on the elevator and stood next to me and faced forward like everyone tends to do on elevators. When the the elevator doors closed and the elevator started going up I kind of got a queasy feeling in my stomach but it quickly passed. I looked over at the rather attractive woman standing next to me that I didn't know and she turned and looked at me. I smiled that smile at her and she gave me “the look”. Now guys you know what I mean by “the look”. That look an out of your league woman gives you when you try to flirt with them. Anyway, after giving me “the look” she started rubbing her nose. I thought maybe she was trying to tell me I had something on my nose so I started to raise my finger to my nose when I noticed everyone on the elevator in unison turned and looked at me. Just before I was about to touch my nose I stopped and decided against it and put my hand back down. I could have sworn at that moment I heard a collective sigh of relief. About that time the elevator door opened and me and everyone except the woman I did not know got out of the elevator and stepped onto the twelfth floor. The woman I did not know stayed on the elevator and rode it up to a higher floor.

As I walked down the hall I started noticing that no one was talking to me or looking at me. I felt that was a little unusual because the people I work with although thought me odd still usually at least said good morning to me when I passed them in the hall. I was about to open my office door when I saw my best friend at work walk by and I touched his shoulder. He jumped a little bit and then turned to face me.

“Daniel, how are you?” I asked him.

He just shrugged his shoulders without saying a word.

“Is everything alright? You look pale.” I said.

Again he just shrugged his shoulders but this time when I mentioned he looked pale it looked as though he was holding in a snicker.

“Man you sure are acting peculiar today. Anyway how about us eating lunch together today?” I asked him.

Again he just shrugged his shoulders which I took for a yes. “I cannot eat to much because the last couple days my jaw has been hurting.” I said.

He did not say anything but he looked as if he was trying his best to suppress a great big guffaw. I did not ask him why he was acting so strange this morning because Daniel was the best friend I had at work, Actually, he was the only friend I had at work. So I turned and open my office door and started to step into it when Daniel finally spoke.

“Hey dude can you meet me in Conference Room number three at noon?”

“Sure Daniel. Is something wrong?”

“We'll talk about it at noon”, Daniel said as he walked off down the hall.

I went into my office and shut the door and then sat behind my desk. This morning passed as all other of my mornings passed. No one came in my office to talk to me and no one called me on the phone as the torturing seconds passed by on the clock. Finally noon arrived so I got up from my chair and walked out of my office towards Conference Room number three.

When I opened the door to Conference Room number three I saw at one end of the overly long conference table a crowd of my co-workers. At the end of the table sat Daniel.

“Please come in and shut the door and sit down on that end of the table” Daniel said in a serious tone.

I did as he said and then asked half jokingly, “What's going on? This isn't one of those interventions I have heard about is it?”

“Dude there is something we have to tell you.” Daniel said in a calm and serious voice.

“What is it?” I asked in a calm and serious voice.

Daniel looked at the people standing around him and a voice from the back said, “Just tell him.”

“Man,” Daniel blurted out, “you are dead.”

A woman put her hand on Daniel's shoulder and shook her head and said, “You don't just blurt something like that out. You've got to ease into it.”

“What do you mean I am dead?”

“You've been dead about a week now.” Daniel said as he lowered his head.

“Wait. I've been dead for a week and you are just now telling me? I mean why didn't you tell me sooner? How could you all let me walk around dead for a week and not tell me?” I asked.

“Dude, it isn't like it was a subject that came up. Besides I kept hoping you would get better.” Daniel said in the hope of putting a positive spin on the news he had just told me.

“If I have been dead for a week then why don't I smell dead?” I asked as I lifted one arm and smelled.

“About that.” Daniel said.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Well. Have you touched your nose lately?” Daniel asked as everyone looked in the air pretending not to listen or look.

I reached up to rub where my nose use to be and it was gone. “How long has my nose been missing?” I asked.

“Well,” a woman at the other end of the table said, “When you came in yesterday it was gone. We looked for it around the office.” She then looked at everybody in the room and continued, “No one ever found it. Maybe you lost it at your house or on your way to work.” she said as she looked around. She started to say something else but just looked down instead.

“Daniel. I thought you were my best friend. How could you walk around letting me think I am still alive and not say anything?”

Another voice from the back said, “Hey don't be so upset at Daniel. After all when your bottom jaw fell off a couple nights ago it was him who sneaked into your house when you were asleep and wired it back on with some paperclips.”

“You did that for me buddy?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Daniel said, “it was no big deal.”

“How? How did I ummm you know.”

“Well, you were working late and was in the building by yourself. The next morning they found that the break on the elevator had broken and the elevator fell twelve floors and you were in it.”

About that time the crowd of people who had been standing on the other end of the table separated and I saw my Boss walking between them and stood next to Daniel.

“Mr. Ferguson,” I said. “I hope me being dead does not mean you are going to fire me?”

“Well,” Mr. Ferguson said, “I have been looking over our company policy. There is no policy against dead people working for our company and your output has been about the same so you can stay for a little while longer if you want to. However, we may switch you over from selling car insurance to selling life insurance.”

Everyone looked at me and when they saw I started to laugh they all started to laugh also. They all laughed that is until my lower jaw fell off again. Everyone stopped laughing at the same time as I picked up my jaw and hung it back on the paperclips as best as I could. I then said, “Mr. Ferguson I believe I have some sick time coming so I think I will take a week off if that is alright.”

Mr. Ferguson nodded his head yes. I got up and left Conference Room number three and walked down the hall. As I was walking down the twelve flights of stairs I try to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my death.

THE END?