Day 3: Thursday

My name is Shelby. Today is my first day at MUSC. I’m kind of scared, but Amelia and George have been really nice to me. So has my new roommate, Grace. I am really freaked out. I don’t know what to do! I want to go home. I don’t want help! All I know is that you can’t stay longer than 2 weeks so after that I am gone! If I can hold out, I will be fine.

OMG Shelby seems super nice! I really like her. She is bulimic and a cutter, oh and she has a fiancé at 14! Oh well, it’s her life. So if that is what she wants, then it’s none of my business. All I know is I am not going to judge her. She is nice and that is all that matters. I want to be her friend. I wish I was pretty like her. She has long blond hair and green eyes. I can already tell something is wrong, she seems upset.

Shelby is pretty but not as beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, and all that other stuff as Amelia. I like Shelby. She will be a good friend one day but I want Amelia to be so much more! Somehow she has become the reason I get out of bed in the morning, so I can see her. I think she may even be the one. Like the one I spend the rest of my life with! I hope so! I want to make her happy. I also want to have a family with her, and not just because that means I get to f**k her. I truly want to have kids and I think that’s what she wants too.

Amelia was really nice to the new girl. I think they will be good friends one day. I hope so. Amelia seems like the type who doesn’t know she is pretty and doesn’t have many friends. I used to be that girl, and it sucked! I hope that I am wrong about her, but I doubt I am. George might be good for her. He might be able to help her get some confidence. After all boys who want what’s best for you are great for you!

It’s about 5 pm. We are sitting in group. George is sitting next to Amelia. And I can see in his eyes that he likes her. It is super sweet! He wants to kiss her but he is scared. Not of getting into trouble, but of rejection. Plus I can tell by the way Amelia is steeling glances at George that she thinks he is cute. But she has a boyfriend. I can see the conflict in her troubled eyes. Her sad eyes. She knows her boyfriend doesn’t love her and that she doesn’t love him, but at the same time she doesn’t want to cheat on him. But she really likes George, even if she won’t admit it, even to herself. This is going to be an interesting stay.

I sit next to Amelia at dinner and during group. I am writing this as I lie in bed, I hope nobody takes my journal away. Anyway I really like Amelia. She makes me happy. Something that is hard to do. I hope she likes me back. I can’t tell though. I wish I had more experience with girls. That way I would be able to tell. We’ll, all I can do is hope for the best. Goodnight. 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the story. I like the use of the journal in the story. A journal is a good tool to release pain and thoughts. You are a good writer. You have the skill to organize place, emotion and thoughts. Hard to do. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote