Chapter 1

My name is Lauren Blank. I am 16 years old. I turn 17 in October. October 2nd to be exact. I climb out of bed and I get a rush of excitement. Today is the last day of school! I get dressed in a short blue jeans skirt and a bright pink tank top. I put on my black high heels and go downstairs. My breakfast is made of burn toast and orange juice (thanks Mom) was not the best but not even that could put a damper on my mood. I drive to school in my red convertible and snatch the spot next to Riley’s. Then I go over to her and give her a great big hug! Both of us on the verge of tears of excitement! All too soon the first bell rings and we run inside not wanting to be late. The day passes quickly and before I know it, I am running out of school, free at last! Riley and I talk about our planes for the summer then say our goodbyes. Then I hop into my car and drive home. I lie on my bed, drowning in the bliss of school being over. About 20 minutes later, I get out of bed and go to the pool. I lay on the lounge chair and take out my book and start reading. When I am done with the chapter, I look up. That’s when I saw him. Standing there, looking so damn hot! If he wasn’t so amazing I might approach him. But somehow I was petrified! After all he was out of my league. Plus he wasn’t my type. But for some reason I didn’t care. I usually go for the preppy kids. But he was Goth. He had black hair that wasn’t too long but wasn’t too short either, it was perfect! He was in black jeans and a black t-shirt. Yet he didn’t look out of place at my pool. Well my neighborhood pool. Me I was in a bright blue one piece. I loved the way he flipped his hair. God he is so hot! He goes into the bathroom and comes out in black swimming trunks. He walks over to the diving board and does a flip off. Then gets out and walks right over to me. I lay my book on the chair next to me and sit up. He stops in front of me. Then he speaks. His voice is perfect, just like the rest of him.

“Hi I’m Greyson Pickering.”

“Lauren Blank.”

He smiles and takes the lounge chair next to mine. I go back to reading. Then I stop about 5 minutes later. “Do you want something to eat? I’m about to order a pizza and maybe we could share it because I cannot eat a whole pizza by myself.”

“I would love that.” He says.

“What do you want on your half?”

“Cheese…” he says

“Me too!” I say. I take out my phone and call my favorite pizza place. “Hi I would like a medium cheese pizza please.” I pause while the lady talks. “Lauren.” I pause again. “Devenger Pool.” I pause again.  “thanks.” I hang up “10-15 minutes.” I say to Greyson.

“Sounds good.” He says

We don’t chat while we wait on the pizza, its silence but a comfortable silence. I just enjoy having him near. Soon the pizza is here and we eat in silence as well.

“Well I got to go home, but I will see you tomorrow” he says like he knows ill be here. Then he winks and leaves. I stay and try to read some more but soon I realize that it is impossible. I drive home and watch my favorite TV show, supernatural, and just relax. Riley texts me about 20 minutes into my second episode.

R- Help!

L " What?

R- Bring ice cream. Lost the bf.

I quickly turn off my TV and write a note to mom saying that I will be home tomorrow. Then I hop into my car and stop at a CVS and pick up coffee ice cream. Then I drive over to Riley’s house. I use my key and go in. then I head up to her room. She is sitting on her bed sobbing. I put down the ice cream and go over to her bed, sit down and hug her. After a while she stops crying and we watch TV, then she falls asleep and I too later on, on her floor.

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[fireblossom]

This is a good story. I was relieved. Sometimes I read a story and the writer really isn't ready. By reading your poetry I know you have a way of keeping things clean by writing the facts and leaving the other stuff out of the way. I don't have any more time today but I will come back and read more.

From the point of view of an editor, you have spelling errors and phrases that could be cleaned up to make things even better. Inspiration is in the first draft...perfection is in the edits that follow. I was taught to write the first draft without ANY judgement. Then put the story away for a while, so when you come back to edit you have fresh eyes. A teacher I very much admired said when people make a baby they think its beautiful no matter what it really looks like.

All the best. J