YOUR EYES

This is a poem i wrote for someone =)

Your eyes,which make the sun shine,
will be my resurrection of love.
The emeralds of nature
in which i will embrace paradise.
The night will become a sad song
so your eyes can sing the melody of hope.
In my darkest dreams i will find the light that can guide me home.
Your pretty,sparkling eyes will be watching my every step
and never let me fall.But i've already fallen..inlove.

Reviews

[Moi]

This is cute, and I hope that whoever you wrote this for finds your eyes just as enjoyable.

But, I think the phrase "resurrection of love" needs a little work. Has the speaker loved before, and now loves again? The word choice I don't find fitting. The last three lines, if you'd consider editing them, need work. Again; word choice, like "darkest dreams," it's a bit of a cliche, no? And I don't understand the night being a "sad song" though I can appreciate the ingenuity of saying that eyes can sing; creative use of verb.

However, through and through, I thought the part about "the emeralds of nature/in which I will embrace paradise" was pretty good! Write on!

[ABBY]

that is one VERY lucky person......whoever you wrote that for

[Ari]

"Your eyes. . .will be my resurrection of love"

stands out to me from the rest. I agree with the review below that it COULD be cliche, but the fact that it says "my resurrection" and not "the resurrection" really makes it work beautifully for me.

[Partha]

Awesome poem. very artistic. excellent use of words effectively create a dreamy, serene atmosphere which I liked most about the poem. It's a poem and it's very poetic, which is not always the case. but this one certainly is.

[WordMaster]

Warmth, love and devotion clearly come forth from this wonderfully written poem

I enjoy each word and line

Brilliantly written

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A very pretty poem. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[sherra.]

That was so beautiful :)

[Broken.]

Aww very sweet. And personal, which of course is great!!

We really do seem to write in the same ways, about the same kinds of things.

[Zulie]

Thank youuu!! I'm glad i can..hehe

[Harlow Aaron]

I've always loved this poem! You really know how to pull the strings of my heart! Very beautiful! =D