Constantly dreaming

i like to dream so this is what i wrote about some

 

What do you want from me?

What is it that you want to see?

Is there anything that will wake me up?

Please, don’t wake me up from this dream.

 

You see, I am constantly dreaming

Endlessly sleeping

Occasionally screaming

But most of all, I am frequently laughing

 

It’s just this feeling I feel,

Whenever I dream, it feels so real,

I am free to explore,

Something I cannot ignore.

 

I travel to a new world every night,

Just flying under the moonlight,

It is just a beautiful sight.

Everything just seems so right.

 

I talk to the magnificent stars,

And I amazingly watch the planet Mars,

I fight dangerous creatures

With magical swords with cool features.

 

I see the mischievous wizards,

That can easily transform many into lizards.

I watch as they cast a spell,

And can make one’s life a living hell.

 

I learn a lot from inventors,

It seems all they wear are clothes with suspenders.

It’s just their daily routine,

It is cool that they wear weird jeans.

 

I play around with the ferocious lions,

And learn some skills from the Mayans.

I eat bazaar foods everyday,

Some are delicious, that’s what I can say.

 

I have superpowers,

I can talk about this for hours,

But now its time to fall asleep,

Once more, another incredible dream

Author's Note

please review it so i know what you think about it.. i edited a line...

Reviews

[Shellie]

I find these lines rhyming, forced...
I talk to the magnificent stars,

And I watch the strange cars,

the strange cars part ruined the image of the stars..maybe dveloping the stars into that line could crossover that part, it just doesnt work.

But the rst and your overall theme was definitily well done, it rally was something everyone can most likely relate to...dreaming, even daydreaming...and the places you go when you do so and the feeling you get when you think of good dreams and the before sleep feeling of having another, that was all capturd here!

[Julio Cesar Ruiz]

I like the image that you are trying to paint but for some reason your lines dont flow. it seems unnatural the way you order your words like you're forcing them to fit. remember that when you write it must come from the heart, you must feel the words as they flow from your heart to your pen to the paper in front of you.

[ajasminewallflower]

Well, it doesn't take someone with a masters degree to see that you do constantly dream my dear.Just kidding, it makes you the awesome Ruthie I know.I found that it flowed in and out though some were forced like lizard and wizard...but overall I thought it was intresting and refreshing read.

[Sheila Kline]

Now, that is quite a dream!
....I am going to interpret from your note that you want honest thoughts...so, it is good in concept, but you could work on your rhyming a bit. Some of the word choices to rhyme could be better, as noted by the reviewer below with the choice of magnificent stars and strange cars.

It just takes time and practice to develop good technique, as I know I am certainly still learning! The most important fact is to keep writing, and writing, and writing, and your word choices will get better.
Again, wonderful creativity - just work on word choices and rhyming a bit more.
Sheila

[deeps]

You really put some heart and soul into this i can feel it.
This is wonderful, enjoyed this write.
I can feel your emotion behind this.

[Nick Almanza]

wow that was a great poem and you described everything so perfect , i felt like i was actually there is those dreams , Great write
-Nick

[ICE]

I felt as if you took me into one of your dreams. This is a great poem...and it flowed quite nicely.