Sarcoma

Poem about diagnosis of the worst kind

                       Before I can ask I already know

                       For the look in his eyes has done much to show

                       The threat that I feared has refused to go

                       As my doctor tells me the cancer has grown

 

                       It can't be true, I shan't believe

                       That Death has settled within me

                       It's all a mistake, the machines are wrong

                       It can't be my life that is gone

                       Rerun the tests!  I tell the man

                       I have he says, we've done all we can

                       It can't be true I shan't believe

                       That Death has settled within me

 

                       How can it be that it resides in me

                       This sickness, this weakness, this damned disease

                       Did I saturate my stomach with wine and drink

                       Did I puff like a Cuban on cigars or Stuyvesants

                       No I did not! I kept it at length

                       Yet here I lie with declining health

                       Well I refuse to sit flat or lie on my back

                       The greatest defence is a stringent attack

                       So Death will not grasp me, it's grip firm and cold

                       Until I am wrinkled and broken and old

                       I won't give up easy no matter what I'm told

                       I'm too young to die I'm not ready to fold

 

                       But as time ages on my hair wears thin

                       And so does my anger and sallow skin

                       I release my hate and unclench my fists

                       And turn once again to my oncologists

                       Please I ask, I beg, I pray

                       Give me more than just another day

                       With eyes to the heavens I've nothing to say

                       But to sincerely swear that I'm ready to change

                       Tick Tock goes the clock as I tell the doc

                       I'm a man in chains, this disease is the lock

                       I've been at heavens door, the gods did not hear my knock

                       So the key is in your hands you're all that I've got

                       But the dull in his eyes is telling me

                       That no-one, no-one, can set me free

 

                       I find myself in a land of fear

                       It's plains are barren and no-one is near

                       Its plains it is plain to see

                       Are as empty, as empty, as the despair embedded in me

                       If I had painted lamb's blood above my door

                       Would the Angel of Death not come to call?

                       I ponder such thoughts but I can do no more

                       The thread of my existence is torn

 

                       A life cut short by Death's evil blade

                       I owed her my life now my debt will be paid

                       I've tried to be firm, I have tried to stand

                       I'm holding onto life, now the tumour's in my hands

                       I have lost this war, I can no longer fight

                       I have reached the tunnel's end, but I see no light.