chapter TWO

It was a terrible Sunday for me that day. The sun was shinning like no other day, all the leaves were becoming dead for summer heat. The day was perfect for killing your skin if you ever planned to. I got out of my apartment for a nice old grocery shopping. Chips were on my priority list, not to mention a box of soda for the next few days of heat devastation. The car was parked outside my door. It was my faithful silver Vios that's been keeping me not too much late from work and other stuffs.

 

"Good morning old car," I greeted my lifeless vehicle like a moron. I liked doing it. The car had been my constant companion over the travels and adventures of my life. I got it four years ago upon graduating. It was a nice gift from my dad, the best if you asked him. I was a spoiled bratt with him. Daddy's little girl with all the glits ad glamours of everything I wanted.

 

"Care for a nice bath today?" I was talking to it like some kind of pet. Cars were better than real pets anyway. You feed them gasoline, they take you to places. You wanna spend time alone, you lock yourself inside it and cry. Try running away, you could definitely survive the woods inside your car.

 

I started the engine and drove to the nearest gasoline station. Feed the metallic furball first before anything else. A convenience store was also close by so I decided to park near and buy supplies.

 

"Morning," I smiled at the cash register as I opened the door. It was a typical convenience store with food and liquor. Not to mention the big stack of condoms by the register and all the nice jelly candies and stuff for kids. I was also familiar with the magazine stand, all those men stuff minors would get from this place. An issue of our magazine was also there. The World Today. We did topics for current issues and such. I was very much interested of it and last month, I landed its main theme about Green energy. I was very happy of it. Indeed happy.

 

"Need something miss?" the old man asked.

 

"I just want some chips and cans of rootbeer and soda," I told him.

 

"They're by that aisle and drinks are at the last part by the left side," he continued his work.

 

"Thanks," I smiled at him and went on. He was probably the owner of the store. He dresses finely and wore his hair descently. He was too old to be working as an employee and he looked like he knew the place from scratch.

 

I grabbed bags of chips, biscuits and cereal. I put them on a basket and went on for the soda. There were probably six cans left for the flavor I was looking for. Orange with a twist of lemon! I liked that one particularly because it was the soda drink Darin designed for back at their advertising agency. It wasn’t really a good flavor, I actually hated it at first but I guess it all goes well once you get used to it. I grabbed all six cans and went off.

 

"Credit," I handed the old man my credit card. It had been my card since I worked. Took me ten seconds before I got my eyes out of it the first time I got it. I was finally growing, I said to myself back then. It was one of those little steps I was quite proud of.

 

I got my stuff and went out of the store. Car was still Car. I placed the items at the back seat. I opened my door and drove for a carwash. I guess Car was probably needing it after a week of stressful driving.

 

I got inside the carwash area. I opened up a can of the soda and a bag of my chips. This was breakfast. Good old breakfast for a miserable person who didn’t care right now. I looked at my phone and read a couple of messages from people. Work people who just bored me  to the core. Nothing but talking about issues of this and that, meetings with people and forums to attend to for the next couple of days. Writing was partly nice, andd partly boring in a way. Some of them and probably lost the essence of it anyway. The question on why they wrote and the question on why care. We were probably becoming robots by this so called deadline.

 

The cleaning was done after a few minutes. I got out with my car all new and shiny like a coin. I heading back home now. I was probably gonna read a book when I get home, try to write on my laptop or clean my place. I think I was going to the cleaning choice. It had been two weeks since I last wiped the windows of my place, or picked up my trash for that matter. Not to mention the forgotten laundry I was planning to wash the other night.

 

I got out of the car and went inside with my groceries. I cup of noodles were waiting on my table so I heated water for it to get cooked. Instant food had always been my friends. I was a lazy house owner so all Im probably made of is coffee, instant noodles, chips and candy.

 

I got my phone out again. This time I was planning to continue my new article I wrote on my notepad. I was in the bathroom when I started it anyway. Suicide reasons. It was my topic. I wanted to expound more so I scheduled myself interviews with psycho patients that following week to find out more. I heard they were desperate cases that did not take the drama and got insane. Most were heartbreaking issues about former lovers and all. Some were victims of abuse and such. It was something sad indeed.

 

I  scribbled down letters. Hard to do when your mind was somewhere else. No matter how I tried to concentrate, it just shifts off to the thought of him. The insane thought of him. Bugger! I was distracted. The soda reminded me, the issue reminded me. The patients I was still about to meet reminded me of him. Of why I was me now because of him. I was distracted.

 

Macey called. She was saying something about her seeing Darin with a girl in the mall. Macey was a good friend. She had been my bestfriend since junior high and we were lucky enough to have been close until now. She was working for a pharmaceutical company as a transcriptionist. We lived near but  decided not to stay together so as to avoid girly conflicts and such. I was a total messball while she was the all tidy and clean type I was obviously allergic to. Despite that, we still remained the best of friends for life.

 

"Anna, you have to come right now," she sounded like a highschool kid all excited about the cool guy around the mall.

 

"Why? Im busy okay," I hesitated. What was the purpose of seeing them anyway. To get all weird in front of them cause I couldn’t get my thoughts straight after what had happened between us before.

 

"Don’t be such an a*s. Im in a coffee shop right now and they just got in at a table at my far end," she was excited like playing some detective.

 

"Did they see you?" I asked.

 

"No, and Im not saying hi unless your'e here," she was in a good mood, I could tell. How she had shared before what she would do to Darin after what happened to us. She practically hated the guy for breaking up with me. I still could not forgive him, nor forget.

 

"Then don’t, Im cool with it," I said. Part of me was interested of going but a large part of me still said it was dumb. There was nothing to it anyway. You see the guy, you meet the new girl, say the weird things and then create an issue. I wasn’t going for that option. Not in a thousand nightmares.

 

"Come'on. I thought you wanted to meet the new girl," she tried to convince me.

 

"Changed my mind. No need," I was sure of it.

 

"She's okay. Wearing the new Prada, Gucci earings, Italian gold charms and brands I don’t recognize anymore but still look expensive," she elaborated a few names to start with the outfit. The way she sounded, it looked like she was portraying little miss perfect. Just the type I guess Darin had always wanted for a girlfriend.

 

"Okay, I sound like a piece of junk compared to that. Im sticking to cleaning here," I assured her. There was definatley no changing of my mind this time. What was I gonna look if I went there anyway. I'd look like the duckling compared to the swan who had fully bloomed to its best.

 

"Hurry up b***h or I'll shout your name here and make them come there," she threatened. It was obvious it wasn’t happening but for some reason I felt she was planning to create a scene of some sort.

 

"What are you planning to do?" I was already worried by the sound of her giggle.

 

"Oh, you'll see. Don’t hang up and you'll hear every single word I'll say," she giggled a bit.

 

'Hi Darin, what a surprise to see you here," she laughed and said more hi's to the new girl I guess.

 

'Hey Macey, I havent seen you for a while. How are you?' he was in a good mood.

 

'Im great, so great it feels so good to the core,' she laughed. 'Who's with you?' this was question with the obvious answer.

 

'This is Erica, my girlfriend,' there was a pause there as I was hearing it.

 

'Hi, nice to meet you,' this girl had a soft voice. No wonder Darin liked this one, she was soft spoken like a real lady thing.

 

'Macey, Im a ….friend,' I believe she was running out of words. I hoped she was running out of words that moment, so everything would be over and I could return to a normal state of consciousness again.

 

'You should join us for som coffee,' Darin invited her.

 

'No, you guys go ahead, I don’t wanna destroy your moments,' she giggled and continued. 'I'm going ahead now, bye,' she sounded unsure of what she said.

 

'Say hi to Anna for me,' Darin added. My heart pounded. Stupid.

 

'Sure, uhm.. She's on the line,' my eyes splurted out by those words. I couldn’t think anymore or find the off button of my phone. For a while, I forgot how to use it.

 

'Hi Anna,' Darin finally talked to me.

 

"Haaa….  Hi," it was the stiffest word I ever spoke in my life.

 

"How are you? I didn’t know you were on the phone line," he was I guess surprised. It was embarrasing because it was obvious Macey was spying and now I was involved.

 

"I'm great. Sorry to bother, I better go, bye!" I put the phone down now. I finally got a chance to get a bit back to my senses.

 

I sighed a few times and starred at my phone. I was deeply praying they wouldn’t call again and thank you God because they didn’t. I sat on the floor out of relief. When I looked at a distance the first thing I saw was the framed sketch he gave me before. It was a tree in front of a big rock. The setting was so real as I recalled it on my mind like the day we went there.

 

'Darin, we've been driving for almost an hour now. Where are we going anyway?' I was so excited of where he was taking me. It was our sixth monthsary. I insisted on not celebrating it but he wanted to because he said we only get to try these things every once in a while.

 

'We're almost there okay. Trust me, you'll love me more for it,' he winked at me and got his eye back on the road. It was sunny afternoon on the countryside. It was like one of those nice vacations I always thought about when I was a little girl and it made me giggle thinking I was now spending that dream vacation with the guy I loved.

 

'You like trees uh?' I started to make a converstaion.

 

'Yeah. When I grow old, I wanna grow trees in a big yard and run free,' he laughed while telling me his childish dream.

 

'When I grow old, I wanna be with lots of people. I don’t wanna be alone when that time comes,' I smiled.

 

'I promise you wont be alone okay,' he held my hand and kissed it for a while. It was always a great feeling when he did that. It made me feel safe and assured that everything was gonna be alright in the end.

 

'Thank you,' I held my hand tighter to his and closed my eyes. The trees made me feel so safe that day. He made me feel so safe that day.

 

'We're here,' he stopped the car by a mountain side and opened the door. He opened my door and took my hand as we went to that tree in front of the big rock.

 

'This will be my first tree to run unto when I get old,' he layed a blanket on the grass as I held our basket of junk food.

 

' How did you find this place anyway?' I asked as we sat down.

 

'By chance. We were on a roadtrip with some friends in college and we passed by here going home. One day I told myself I would come back here and stop for a while,' he smiled .

 

'It's really beautiful,' I leaned on his shoulder and we became quiet for some time.

 

The next day he sent me an envelope on my mailbox and inside was a sketch of that tree infront of the big rock. At the back was a map of that countryside just incase I got lost if I wanted to go there. I smiled when I got it. It indeed made me fall for him much harder.

 

The tear was coming again now. Those stupid liquids that bug my eyes everytime I remember him. What went wrong of me? I asked myself that question so many times. Thousands of times, sometimes I would forget who I was in finding the reason.

 

Macey called me again that late afternoon. She knew I was probably crying again. For some reason she always said she didn’t understand.

 

"Im sorry," she said.

 

"It's alright, " I laughed again and tried to get back to myself.

 

"I know your'e crying again. Stop it okay," she was getting serious. She had always been wooried for me I guess. I couldn’t question that.
 

"Im alright,' I tried to defend myself but the sobs were pretty much still obvious over the phone.

 

"Want me to fix you some soup?" she offered.

 

"Macaroni with beef?" I wanted to eat so badly, not because of hungry but because Macey was doing it for me and it comforted me so much.

 

"With extra broccolli and pepper," she giggled and put the line down.

 

I wiped my tears and got up then. I decided crying wasn’t gonna be of any help. Again and again this was my line. Again and again this was what I would say after my tearing session was done. After I would get so tired of crying so much for the same old reasons. I would just get up and tell myself the same old lullabies.

 

At five in the afternoon Macey knocked on my door and brought some groceries with her. Healthy groceries.

 

"Clean your pots, Im fixing dinner," she got inside and put the bags on the table. I followed her to the kitchen and prepared some utensils I knew she was needing. She was always the big sister between us two. She knew what to do most times and always had her way over things.

 

"Want me to do something?" I offered her some help.

 

" Just sit back and I ll call you if I need anything," she helped herself on the kitchen. She knew my place anyway. Every single corner of it.

 

I sat on the chair by the kitchen table and looked at her from behind. It reminded me that no matter how many Darins would come and break me, there was always Macey who'd comfort me and ease the pain.

 

We cooked macaroni soup that evening. The best soup I've ever had in the world. I called it the comfort soup. The nicest soup Macey ever made for me.

 

"Thanks Mace," I smiled as we enjoyed our meal.

 

"I never should have done that this morning. Im sorry girl," she apologized.

 

"Its alright Mace. You didn’t do anything wrong,… except for the part you told him I was on the line. Now he knew you were spying of some sort," I giggled and treated everything as a joke for us.

 

"I ran out of words," she defended and laughed." You should have seen the look on the girlfriend's face!" she bursted out laughter and I laughed with her. I had to admit the incident was funny. Running out of words in front of your ex boyfriend was funny. Speaking non sense in front of his girlfriend was funny and technically I was doing it over the phone.

 

"Come on A, move on girl,'' she was again trying to persuade me on those difficult tasks.

 

"I am," I just told her that.

 

"Then stop being stupid for him," she bursted out what she wanted to say.

 

"Im trying," Isaid to her.

 

" Try harder," she urged.

 

"Let's not talk about it for now okay," I wanted peace of mind for a while. Let go of the heavy drama for a few minutes after I was doing it for an entire day already.

 

"How's your new topic?" she shifted to another question.

 

"Its doing great. I got a schedule from the hospital already," I told her.

 

"That's good," she didn’t smile. It was one of those times I felt she was again disappointed.

 

'Just forget the man okay!' she shouted and cried as she saw me crying.

 

I sobbed more and embraced her so tight I could squeeze her to the core.

 

'Let it all out,' she embraced me back and for a moment I knew I wasn’t alone. The crying got more as I remembered a lot of times. Those tears couldn’t take away even an inch of the pain I was feeling inside. It was the first night when I found out Darin was with another girl. It was the first time I knew about the new girl and for some absurd reason I ran upon hearing it.

 

She tucked me to bed that night like a baby going to sleep. I was finally going to be able to rest. Hopefully be able to rest. She left my lamp open and closed my door. Thank you for today.

 

I closed my eyes that night though I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to sleep. Why was I born a fool anyway? Why was I born like a leaf, just waiting to fall and not fight on hanging to its tree?

 

'Im not gonna give you flowers this time,' he picked up a leaf from that tree in front of the big rock and twisted it around his hand before giving it to me.

 

'It’s a leaf, because leaves stay longer on trees than flowers,' he smiled and kissed my forehead.

 

'But they still fall,' I said.

 

'We all fall,' he told me. It was like a poem I couldn’t figure out. All I knew was that he was right. We all do fall.

 

I smiled while looking at him. We sat on the big rock and looked at the sea over us. The wind gushed forth and the day was so perfect I couldn’t really ask for more.

 

I closed my eyes beside him and prayed. He was like an answer to a lost prayer I thought I would never find again. He was like a miracle I never thought possible.

Author's Note

i am an open book :)