unwanted

A Poem by azeilc

I was falling when I was writing this. still Falling

What if you forgot me one day

What if I wake up realizing you never knew me

What if there was never really us in your mind

Or in your heart, if there is one

Would I still be strong?

Or would I just break down and fall to a thousand pieces?

It's hard to guess what my future could bring

When it relies so much on the thought of you

How could anything be this painful

Like how a daughter looses a father

Then so I loose you

I gotta tell you Im not much of a fighter

And I don’t know how to swim

If I drown in an endless ocean one day

Please don’t bother saving me

It's so pointless it hurts

I might be wandering off the streets

Releasing all my energy from keeping them to you

I might just be shouting around a corner

Trying to tell something I would have wanted to tell you

It's hard to guess what my future could bring

When it relies so much on the thought of you

How could anything be this painful

Like a how a daughter looses a father

Then so I loose you

© 2011 azeilc

Author's Note

it's supposed t be a song, but I got lazy on the melody part. Im still gonna work on it ;) Help!!!!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register

Reviews

Zoe Jay

This is pretty good, it's thought provoking and the use of questions is direct, personal and effective. The tone changes slightly going into the second verse, perhaps it could use something to tie these two sections together more effectively. I like the concept though - even when things are in the past, it still somehow matters to us how we are perceived, how we are remembered. This has a lot of potential. By the way, "loose / looses" should be "lose / loses" in this context :-)

Posted 13 Years Ago

Thea Fuentebella

nice work with the repetition there. though i tend to lose emotion on some lines. it's beautiful, but i believe there's room for improvement. just pour out the passion great:)

Posted 13 Years Ago

azeilc

super thanks to you guys ;) I hope i reach somewhere soon with my words :)

Posted 13 Years Ago

Searching 4 Serenity

Well, judging by your most recent piece, it looks like you are now starting to rise. RISE!, RISE!, RISE! into the sky. It might be difficult, but its better than being a flattened pancake from the tumbling fall.