Follow The Format

Follow The Format

A Poem by Jezebel Marie
"

I write a lot about addiction and drugs like I'm still using... And I'm not. I just remember the mindset all too well.

"

My heart has dropped into my stomach
and it's pounding, pounding, pounding...
And pouring blood into places it doesn't belong...
Leaving my veins dry and tearing
under the flow of dirt.

I separate myself; piece by piece by f*****g piece.
I'd rather kill myself slowly than let the world take the rest of me.
    {Piece by piece by piece.}

I want to spin like a child spins in circles to feel alive...
Spin like a spider spins a web to stay alive.
Spin like smack to know I'm alive.

And I don't ever want to stop.

© 2009 Jezebel Marie


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W.O.W!
I know, all too frighteningly well, the feeling of addiction and the concrete reality of the mindset. You might be clean/recovered, but that voice will still be in the back of your head, telling you those same lies you once told yourself and lived by.
I know, also, the feeling that a slow, self-induced suicide is a better death than the boring natural one, stolen by this world.
Though I never suffered chemical addiction, I was anorexic and bulimic for seven years (and I'm 19 now) and just now am I in recovery. That triumphant feeling of going days at a time without a single calorie was the best high I ever had, but time comes when one must say "enough is enough, it's not worth it"... but the secret longing for that disfunction will always remain.
Sometimes I still write from the un-recovered point of view, simply because I need to get those thoughts out before I give in to them.

This poem here is amazingly well-done! The format is impressive and the italics add so much to the overall impact~
Great job!

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on April 28, 2009