weightless

sometimes i don't awaken fast enough...

           the sweat of nightmare

        somnambulant, then falling

                 into the abyss 

Author's Note

Haiku

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

this brings to mind a person who sleepwalks and falls into the abyss of oblivion. it may be more comforting there. great imagery, and shows what happens when you are sleeping unawares of our sub-consciousness.

[symmetryAsymmetry]

"Shine on you crazy diamond" was playing when I read this...I dunno why, but together this hypnotic haiku and that bloody-awesome song had the effect on my mind that normally laboratory-made stuff has!
You, Sir, are a genius.

[Stammers]

'Very good haiku--using the 5-7-5 form, I see.'

but what you DON'T see is how bloody hard these things are to write! Hardly a style that lets you pour your heart out onto the page! But when you manage to solve the puzzle of how to get the feeling you want into its straight jacket, what an impact!

I admire people who can do this!

[Ed Hart]

happened to me the other night, buggers

[Marie]

Very good haiku--using the 5-7-5 form, I see.

[patricia]

I like your use of the word sweat in this, it is usually the thing that we are most aware of when we waken from a nightmare, but then you follow it with somnambulant, and it changed my course of thinking, such a lot in such a few words. Perfect John, just like you. Thankyou.

[.]

never been in that predicament..but you write with such flair

[...]

. i know that experience ...
. superbly expressed ...

[J. J. Nightingale]

Been there ....

Good One .. Jasmine

[quinfinn]

very clever, i like it