I Understand: I Am Wrong

I Understand: I Am Wrong

A Poem by Ayesha Atif
"

My cries are no more heard, the pleasant voices are fading away. I realize I am the one who is wrong.

"

 

Maybe I am the one who is wrong,
A disappointment for you all,
But tell me have you ever tried to make me strong?
 
I have left everything,
I have stopped trying,
These tears will continue to bleed,
And my feelings are on fire,
 
Maybe I am the one who is wrong,
But where were you at the time of making my bases strong?
 
I am drowning,
Did you feel once to save me?
I realize I haven't given you anything,
There is no meaning left to say,
I love you, the love is flying away, 
 
Yes, I am the one who is wrong,
You should have known I didn't come so strong,
 
I blame no one, I come to say;
I know I am the one who destroyed everything,
I play no role; I need no more of pain,
Yes, you are there for me;
Myself is just echoing to me,
I am lonely; come save me please..
 

 

© 2009 Ayesha Atif


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

A very nice poem Ayesha, I really like the way you have kept it simple and flowing without trying something extra to fit in here. But the very last poem is disappointing to me,
"I am lonely; come save me please.."
This seems like asking for pity in the end of accepting that you were wrong, If you want to use it, then try it as the beginning and put it in between as well. Start it like,

'I am lonely; come save me..
Maybe I am the one who is wrong,
A disappointment for you all,
But tell me have you ever tried to make me strong?'

To me, this sounds a lot better. :) You can amend it like this if you feel it too. Else you have done a great job on your own. Keep writing. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


an interesting changing of direction throughout the poem. enough to make this piece strong, but not too much to where it is confusing. quite a nice poem to read.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Hmmm, I still dont understand whats in your mind. Every moment you change ur feeling, Sometime you blame ppl, sometime you blame yourself, first decide yourself who is prisoner You Or All those person who luv u alot and care for you.

Posted 15 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

334 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 6, 2009
Last Updated on September 6, 2009

Author

Ayesha Atif
Ayesha Atif

Karachi, Pakistan



About
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true. Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion||||||30%Stability||||||||||||43%Orderliness||||16%Accommodation||||||||||||||||63% Intell.. more..

Writing
A New Home A New Home

A Story by Ayesha Atif


Masked Masked

A Poem by Ayesha Atif