a chapter in my life..

you know there are alot of things that happen in a person's lifetime, between being born, living then eventually dieing. Well alot of peoples can be harder than other as alot of people know but i mean have you ever really sat back and thought of all the things a person could have been through? Do you find yourself thinking about the pain that they might have gone through in the past week? Well this right here is a glimpse into my life and what i have dealt with the pain and struggles I have put up with. The weight that my heart carries on a daily basis until someday it's going to give up and collapse leaving me with only my mind to use to make the choices in life because over the past 8 years I've only used my heart to make my choices. The past 8 years I dated my ex boyfriend who happens to be the father of my son, and alot happened in those 8 years that leaves my mind and heart acheing beause not only was I emotionally abused I was emotionally and physically scarred. I became a cutter over this whole relationship, I fought and gave everything to a man who had no soul and like the devil if you looked in his eyes now you see nothing but black as if his heart disappeared into the pit of hell and it's stuck. The pain I go through thinking about the things he does is horrible and I can't get my mind off it. It's as if i have a ball and chain on my heart and I'm slowly being dragged into that pit of hell. I wish I could make these thoughts finally disappear but of course I had to have a child with this guy and now I have to live in that pit forever. When will the ball and chain be cut so I can finally live happy and free.