Thrown into a tinted pool.
Another colour added to the mix.
So tiny, I didn't even leave a ripple.
-So irrelevant, I made no change.
Like an orange flame,
Mixed with purples, blues and yellows.
I am diluted.
No longer like the sun,
more so its' rays.
Bombs of colour plunge and cause a splash.
Blending, I am changed even more.
-But I never change them.
Becoming less of the light I was at first.
Dulled by blue, I am more a deep salmon.
My rarity being polluted.
Sometimes, the water changes colour.
-And compliments me.
But it is quickly shadowed,
Returning to it's bruise effect.
Impossible to see out of this glass,
As day by day, I sink to the bottom.
A tiny little flame, in water that has lost it's purity.
How the world has changed me.
It was very inspirational to me and very you...
I enjoy your writing a lot,
Most of your writing that I've read is really motivational and has a great impact on me...
Keep writing your "I just kind of start writing and went with it" it turns out to be great and you don't exactly know where it's taken you...
I see lots of potential in it...
Keep up the positive work and your writing will motivate others to become a newer them...
Keep on writing!
C. Lee Battaglia
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Such beautiful feedback, thank you so much. All I ever wanted when I began to share my writing was f.. read moreSuch beautiful feedback, thank you so much. All I ever wanted when I began to share my writing was for people to feel something! Glad you enjoyed it and thank you again for your kind words!
Wow, this was really beautiful... I love how you show how the world can beat you down, whether it is fast or slow... the way that you slowly lose your shine... not because it is truly gone, but because you feel so... I like it! Especially the imagery and the vivid (and then not so vivid, but heartfelt and tangent) colors.
I really like it. Do you write music by any chance? I feel like you'd be a great song writer.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I'd love for people to sing songs a about the stuff I write about but if never even dream of writing.. read moreI'd love for people to sing songs a about the stuff I write about but if never even dream of writing actual songs. I know it's not too different from poetry but I'd imagine my effort in writing songs would be laughable haha :)
There is little worse in this world than not being seen, than being ignored and diluted. The image of the flame being diluted by colors is beautiful. I think we too easily become chameleons, even when we don't mean to be. The world around us seems to dictate how we shine our light around. Yet, the flame in your poem is still existing, however diluted in water. It must be magic, as flames are usually extinguished upon contact with water. Nice flow here~
It was very inspirational to me and very you...
I enjoy your writing a lot,
Most of your writing that I've read is really motivational and has a great impact on me...
Keep writing your "I just kind of start writing and went with it" it turns out to be great and you don't exactly know where it's taken you...
I see lots of potential in it...
Keep up the positive work and your writing will motivate others to become a newer them...
Keep on writing!
C. Lee Battaglia
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Such beautiful feedback, thank you so much. All I ever wanted when I began to share my writing was f.. read moreSuch beautiful feedback, thank you so much. All I ever wanted when I began to share my writing was for people to feel something! Glad you enjoyed it and thank you again for your kind words!