All of My

All of My

A Poem by Anastasia Rae

I waste all of my time trying
I waste all of my energy crying
I waste all of myself caring
yet nobody seems to be sparing.

I don't want to be this way anymore
what do i need to waste my everything for?
Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart
then it would be easier to fall apart.

Sometimes I feel broken 
and you don't have a clue.
I stand here frozen
not knowing what to do.
I lay here speechless
with tears in my eyes
and a hole in my heart
cuz I didn't know we said goodbye.

I spend all of my time hoping
I spend all of my energy coping
I spend all of myself trying
yet nobody seems to know I'm dying.

I can't take this much longer
thought things like this were supposed to make me stronger
don't know how much more I can take
cuz every time I smile is fake.

And when i feel like crying
its cuz i don't know how to smile.
Nothing can make me laugh,
haven't done that im a while.
Can't put myself together,
I've been broken for so long.
I want to be happy again,
but it all feels so wrong.

It just doesn't feel fair
I'm wasting my everything for you not to care.
You go about your life that's fine
but stay the hell out of mine.

It's impossible for me to hate you
even after all you put me through
I know you'll never care about me
I've opened my eyes and it hurts to see.

So i guess this it it, the end of you and I
any friendship we ever had can no longer exist.
It's time for me to abandon ship
and I know I need to cease to persist.
From so close to so far apart
I guess we've come full circle now.
You'll forget about me and I'll move on
I'll be alright, though I don't know when or how. 

© 2012 Anastasia Rae


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Featured Review

very honest and speaks of true feelings of the speaker... it moves with the speaker's heartbreaking difficulties in life.... loved the concept and the way it catches the reader's mind... very well thought out piece.... provokes deep thoughts... very good flow in the whole piece....full ratings!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anastasia Rae

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much!



Reviews

very honest and speaks of true feelings of the speaker... it moves with the speaker's heartbreaking difficulties in life.... loved the concept and the way it catches the reader's mind... very well thought out piece.... provokes deep thoughts... very good flow in the whole piece....full ratings!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anastasia Rae

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
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Tex
Loved Loved Loved this.

let me tell you just a few reasons why. this first passage below is so true so honest it just comes through.

I lay here speechless
with tears in my eyes
and a hole in my heart
cuz I didn't know we said goodbye.

Again in this passage below, it is so authentic every reader can relate... wonderful.

don't know how much more I can take
cuz every time I smile is fake.

I love how this piece moves to acceptance and the possibility of moving on. We don't know if the person in this pain will move on but you give us the hope that they have turned to corner and will do it in this ending below.

So i guess this it it, the end of you and I
any friendship we ever had can no longer exist.
It's time for me to abandon ship
and I know I need to cease to persist.
From so close to so far apart
I guess we've come full circle now.
You'll forget about me and I'll move on
I'll be alright, though I don't know when or how.

ok now for the critique... it looks like you write from emotion (as I do) I see that as a good thing, however the problem is that we have to go fast as we are feeling the emotions and don't want them to pass before getting them down. This style requires a much more stringent prof read. That said the result is a very honest and authentic write. so readers love it. check the following two fixes im = in? and it it, = is it,? Not a big deal but it will irritate readers and they not not get the full impact of your write.

haven't done that im a while.

So i guess this it it, the end of you and I

btw if you don't write from emotions then you are a very good fake (not a bad thing) AND those mistakes would most likely indicate mild dyslexia. (I have dyslexia so I am constantly having to fix that kind of stuff)

A wonderful piece... the flow is great the emotions are honest, your audience will relate to it. Does it get any better than that?

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tex

12 Years Ago

might have been good if I proof read that review ^^^ oh well you get the idea. :-) keep up the goo.. read more
Anastasia Rae

12 Years Ago

thank you so much! I really appreciate all your feedback. I should have done a better job with the e.. read more
Tex

12 Years Ago

As I said it is a common issue with the way you and I write... I often have to go back after I post .. read more

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Added on July 18, 2012
Last Updated on July 18, 2012


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