Swirling Darkness

I wrote this from the mental picture of one of my ex-girlfriends eatting my still beatin' heart. Enjoy!

Swirling Darkness

 

A succulent hors d’oeuvre to the cancer in my soul,

     devour my love,

     thirst,

     quench your burning madness

     with the life blood of my heart.

 

Adorn with luscious kisses,

     a faith decapitated,

     passionate deception to savour as

     the only fate I know.

 

Cleanse your gory palate with the joy that I have left,

     scraps are all I have to give

     since the days when we were one.

Author's Note

No notes on deviating from form please. Just enjoy the piece for what it's worth. Constructive critiques are welcomed.

Reviews

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow, a nice and dark poem. This is a great write, excellent work!!!

Heather

[Fantasyfairy]

Beautiful and dark poem. Food for thought and wonderful flow here. The form works really well with this poem too. XX

[THERISA]

An interesting and dark poem about the feelings of betrayal and pain from a breakup. Using the graphic image of your heart being a hors d'oeuvre to savour before the main course. Thank you for sharing this traumatic poem with us.

Therisa

[jen -- JG]

A lovely play on the old saying - "you made your bed - now sleep in it"

You gave all and she took more A darkly beautiful image with this

- you took my heart - now eat it.
you took my all - so beat it.

A great write Quinn

cheers Jen

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Extremely vivid imagery and powerful words combine to make this a marvelous write. Succinct and just right for someone I know as well. I bet many of us know someone that deserves these words however you were the one to place them on the page so eloquently. Great write.
Light,
Siddartha

[luthien7]

Truly beautiful, I'd like to send this in a card to my ex-husband it says exactly what must be said. I can't really offer any criticism as I think its great, maybe a comma after "devour" in the second line to emphasize you are speaking to "my love" or just as it is..."devour my love" saying, go ahead... This is gorgeous. Absolutely

THanks for the read

[Sally Edwards]

Very dark and powerful words,

[Leesah]

quite rich with such dark tones...loved it. Bravo....

[Lia]

Really honest, heart felt. Great peace. Thank you xx

[Shelly Wiseberg]

You sure have a way with words in imagery, I feel, see, and think when I read them from one nonconformist to another the palate will never run dry in expression.