all those flowers went up in smoke.

i burned out so long ago--
spent all my nights
staring up into the hills
tracing my fingers along the lines
made by the trees
and just like now
i thought those days would go on and on
but they didn't.

i stumble over my words too often
better to just say nothing at all
i hate that i can still remember who i used to be.

Reviews

[Doug]

this is good. i love the last stanza. i think it will resonate with everyone who reads it because i am sure that most of us feel this way. wonderful work!

doug

[Emily B]

I love this. The words could have been my own. The experience is extremely similar. Lovely, lovely words.

[Jason Young]

Mm... This is a very... Out of the ordinary type poem. Don't get me wrong- I love it. The language and imagery could be better, I guess, but the way you have it now adds a sort of simple charm to things. The rhythm is absolutely fantastic.

The subject matter... It's hard to understand what exactly this is about. The title is mystic, and the two stanzas seem to be talking about two different things altogether. Normally, I discourage this in (the majority of) poetry, but you've pulled it off brilliantly- masterfully, if you will.

Very melancholy. Bittersweet, and tinged with sadness and regret. The title seems, at first glance, to be completely random, but once you think over the meaning of the words... It all comes together in a sudden burst of understanding.

You have no idea how harsh and picky I am when it comes to poetry, so take pride in this- this has to be one of the most touching poems I have ever read.

Fantastic job. Please, keep writing.