Flaws

The cool breeze breathes life into the summer night.

The fireflies dance, flaunting their radiant light.

As I sit alone, I'm drawn to pause.

The pure and innocent beauty, exposing my flaws.

The dewdrops sparkle as they show.

Flowers don't need told to grow.

The stars above, brightly shining.

They rise to glory, without even trying.

Tree branches extend with confident might.

Birds joyously leap, ready to take flight.

And I sit alone with a stupefied pause.

The pure and simple beauty, exposing my flaws.

The remembrance of being one in the same.

Young and innocent, nothing to lose, but all to gain.

Growing older seemed like a dream.

But it is only a nightmare, filled with pain.

And still I sit with somber pause.

The pure and innocent beauty, exposing my flaws.

 

Reviews

[Steven]

my kids asked me once (i have three) "dad whos your favorite." i said "your mom" they said "why"
its simple are you going to change my diapers? are you the one that has sacrificed everything for? or the one that know me better than my parents? or do you only ever think about the family and yourself last? all that has nothing to do with age or beauty, it has everything to do with something time and money cant change.everyone should have this for each other, sex and all that arent love they are benefits from the one you love.

[Gee]

None of us perfect, well.... The beauty in many folk are their flaws, and the fact they hide them not

[chaotic katie]

Very true! Thanks for reading!

[Wolven]

For someone who has difficulty expressing your feelings, you've done a beautiful job right here. Given all the comments below, I'd say you've got a pretty good hand for turning a phrase.
There's a line or three I think I can identify with rather well.

"Flowers don't need told to grow.

The stars above, brightly shining.

They rise to glory, without even trying..."

I think those are a brilliant set of lines. It shows that you're actually a sharp cookie. I've been in that position, looking on while others grow up, shining without the audacity to try, while I the weary traveller had to take the long route. Its not a nice feeling, one I am sure you understand, to be left behind like that.

This is a true piece of art, Katie, and you deserve a lot more credit for it than has been given to you. Keep up this level of artistry, and one day, those stars you spoke of will be blinded by your light.

[chaotic katie]

Thank you so much! This comment means a lot to me because I always end up thinking my poetry is crappy. This comment made my day!

[Pryde Foltz]

And I sit alone with a stupefied pause.
The pure and simple beauty, exposing my flaws.
The remembrance of being one in the same.

A truly elegant and zenful piece.

[chaotic katie]

Thank you so much for the feedback

[Coyote Poetry]

"Growing older seemed like a dream.
But it is only a nightmare, filled with pain.
And still I sit with somber pause.
The pure and innocent beauty, exposing my flaws."
The poem was strong and honest. My favorite kind. I like the above lines. With age the flaws should become honored part of us. We are different and special. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[chaotic katie]

thank you so much i'm glad you can see what I was trying to capture. I'm glad that you enjoyed my poem.

[Ashley.M.E]

This poem only makes me want to ask one question "Why are you just sitting there?" Anyone can watch beauty pass them by, it is a common mistake to see the amount of beauty in the world and just let it slip on by, but to be able to join in with it? As much as I enjoy the beauty of the nature around us, I come to believe the most enjoyable and beautiful things are those in which are created by those inspired by it... Those who enjoy life always feel and appear to remain young. Sorry I ramble.

[Kent Clark]

I was sitting there when she wrote this poem and I can tell you that the meaning was that she was observing the beauty of nature around her and admiring how we're a part of it. She also meant to convey that sometimes man creates flaws in nature and how it's not right, that it's a flaw in man to cause flaws in nature and that by admiring nature we see the flaws in ourselves for getting in nature's way and causing unnecessary flaws in it. Hence the title "Flaws".

[A. Amos]

Good one, truly an amazing piece and great work in it

[chaotic katie]

Thank you so much for the feedback

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my dear

[BlueDreams]

Wow a very nice poem :) A company of natures teaches us the things that no any person or experience can! The lines caught my sight "Growing older seemed like a dream.
But it is only a nightmare, filled with pain." :)

[chaotic katie]

Thanks for the feedback it was much appriciated

[BlueDreams]

My pleasure :)

[Broken Hearted]

thats deep and it made me think nice job

[stars are far]

That was greatly done,and well expressed ,the concept of innocence is well written and told here.
well done katie

[chaotic katie]

thank you so much for the feedback