My Place

Funny how life shows us our place,

Don’t try to change it,

It’s always too late,

I’ve painted my nails,

I did my hair,

Still nobody ever cared,

Funny how laughter translates to tears,

streaked down the faces,

of those who live in fear,

to wake up another day,

greeted by their looming fate,

a silent surrender,

but the battle drags on,

where are the happy times?

Gone,

Long gone.

Author's Note

A venting piece.

Reviews

[writ rajat]

i love and admire your poem

[chaotic katie]

awe thank you

[Rahul]

Don’t try to change it,
It’s always too late,
I’ve painted my nails,
I did my hair,
Still nobody ever cared...lovely write once again. I loved your work much.
well written.

[chaotic katie]

thank you

[Leslie Philibert]

a good poem, but a sad one for such a young person - you have a lot of good times ahead of you...

[chaotic katie]

thank you

[JulieÉmile]

Quite expressive. Writing whenever one is frustrated is a very good outlet for one's feelings. I'm sure you felt better after writing this. You need to work a little bit on your grammar. Otherwise, this is very good.

[B-poet]

Being a witness to the subtleties in life is what makes the biggest difference in terms of coping with what we're not experiencing in regards to what we really want to be experiencing. Great illustration of this here in your poem. Great write. :)

[chaotic katie]

thank you

[Buddhistboy73]

Wow, this is indeed a piece that describes the loneliness and despair of the human condition. But as an eternal optimist, I'd have to say that it can change,,....that love, friendship, family, trying at something in our lives, can change our reality...:)
I hope that you can change yours,..:) Not that I didn't enjoy this poem.,..:) as it depicts a life state of the current moment......which is valid for that moment.....
BB

[chaotic katie]

thanks for the feedback. i was depressed when i wrote this, feeling much better now though

[Buddhistboy73]

Glad to hear it my friend....:) We all go through those times i feel...and yet we can always emerge into the light......:) Look forward to reading more of your work....:) BB

[chaotic katie]

thank you

[Alexander Rodgers]

Love it, great work as always Katie!

[chaotic katie]

thanks i feel awesome now!

[Alexander Rodgers]

Lol :P

[chaotic katie]

:)

[anamezic]

I'm not like other reviewers, I won't lie and say its perfect when it isn't (because no work is perfect, including my own, and all should be critiqued).I came to this site to recieve constructive criticism, which no one seems to be giving out. But I digress...

I think you have a lot of good things to say, but you really need to work on your vocabulary if you want to improve as an artist.

This poem could be much more moving if you showed us how you tried and how no one cared; give specific examples, it makes your work more personal and deeper, especially if you utilize a thesaurus in tandem.

That being said, your slight but tactful use of rhyme really makes this poem what it is. Good job on that.

[Simon Welsh]

Beautiful. There's a definite despair.. almost impenetrable. Perfect and flawless :)

[chaotic katie]

thanks, i'm glad you like it, means a lot.

[Criss ;)]

I was when readin' then i thought that your this beautiful piece's based on your life style..like comb hairs, paint nails..etc......but as i did start to read further it's suddenly took a new way too analyse your this poem...this lovely write....it's all about your heart feelin's what you feel about time that has been gone n never n come again...

yeah, if we say it's about emotions then yeah, we can say, but, i really don't thk you made it to think as a emotional one, i found that it's about happy times, happy moments of your life that has been lost anyhoq....n now went far away from your heart that wanted to feel some more happines.....so,resultin' it became emotional...now.....
now we can say, it's about emotional, happy one, joy, sorrow, days n time...n so on...

very nice n lovely write...THIS'S A TRUE VENTIN' PIECE...
well penned :)
Have this 98.7/100 ;)
TAKE CARE "KATIE"....!!

[chaotic katie]

thank you