Don't bring me down

Don’t bring me down

Don’t summon my frown,

Don’t  bring more pain,

Don’t call me names,

I guess I lose in the end,

All for reaching out,

And trying to be friends,

My path has taught me,

To keep to myself,

A lonely existence,

Like a doll on a shelf,

Enough tears

in my broken eyes,

I won’t let my depression,

Be your prize,

Author's Note

really quick poem i wrote out of bordum and some annoyance i have been feeling towards family and thinking back to who i used to be. feedback appriciated :)

Reviews

[Chloe]

Don't be a gloom-shroom. :) Great write. You could feel passion pulsating through your perfectly chosen words. You rhyme very well. The doll on a shelf wasn't very sense-making, until I thought about how lonely one could be, sitting alone on a shelf with no little girl to play with. Almost nostalgic. Fab job.

[chaotic katie]

thanks

[InsanityWriter]

I like it. :) Well done!

[chaotic katie]

thanks :)

[Elizabeth Laughlin]

Well done. This expresses a lot of pain and sadness, but most of all, loneliness.

[Death Girl]

You should win that contest with that. love it.

[Wórdsmíth]

Emotional, sentiments...these two words make your writin' powerful to read, i think i liked this one, if i got one two options to choose one from your writin' and my writin', i'll choose your writin'...no doubt. Tht;s an another pretty but has contained so much feelin's towards your family...
"Don' brin; me down", i really liked this tittle, you made it, i liked this pretty one, well, don't make me "senti"..lol, it'a 23:40 and i don't wanna cry and make emotional feelin's towards my childhood memories...lol
well, it's a nice write, ink's good, words're powerful as usual pretty...i think such kinda thought comes to write when we feel boredomness..no monotony...lol
and i think now i'm really gonna love your workin' way...
well written, nice ink again...much appreciated your thoughts.

[chaotic katie]

thanks glad you liked it

[Kanishk Upadhyaya]

Your every thought runs to find out that word which can express the feeling in the most appropriate sense. Each word has a depth in your soul, expressing its true meaning when accompanied by the other one with it. Beautiful. Can you be my friend to understand the expressions in depth and help me refine mine too.

[chaotic katie]

thanks for the feedback, and i'll help all i can just message me with your questions. i'll go and add you now.

[Kanishk Upadhyaya]

Thank you!!

[chaotic katie]

anytime, i'm here to help

[17thWhitePrince]

"My path has taught me,
To keep to myself,
A lonely existence,
Like a doll on a shelf"

I liked this a lot !!!

[chaotic katie]

thanks glad you did :)

[Cookie]

this is short and direct, but still makes a good point, I like it!

[chaotic katie]

thanks

[Balkaran Sidhu]

nice emotional write

[chaotic katie]

thanks

[Sourav]

Very emotional poem... good one.

[chaotic katie]

thank you :)