Last stand

A final last stand against a far superior enemy.

A lone man gazed out over the fields below him, illuminated by the first pale rays of light from the rising sun. For a moment, he saw the once so peaceful and quiet landscape from his memories clearly before his eyes, but as he blinked, reality returned. Where there had once been nothing but tall green grass and lush forests, untouched by man, there remained only a muddy, tramped up field; the forest long since burned or chopped down for firewood. A tear shed from his eye as he watched the large settlement in the middle of the fields come to life in the morning sun; thousands of soldiers waking up to continue their rampage through the lands. 'But not today,' he thought as another tear rolled down his cheek. 'Not today.'

He turned from the saddening sight and returned to the camp behind him, where his own people were preparing, gearing up, readying themselves to face their enemy. There was fear in the men's eyes; not fear for their own lives, but fear for their land, for their families and for their people. All of it would be lost if the enemy was not stopped. As the men lined up on the top of the hill, witnessing the far superior army amassing down below, many of them fell to their knees in prayer.

The lone man paced slowly along the lines, watching the praying men and greeting the ones who were standing. Having never been a religious man, he couldn't help but wonder what the men were looking for in their prayers, what they were hoping to accomplish. But he never once discouraged the men's beliefs. In fact, he was glad that they had something to believe in; it gave them higher morale, as well as more to fight for.

As the sun rose over the horizon in the east, and the roar of  thousands of bloodthirsty men reached him from the fields, the man drew his sword and his motion was immediately followed by every man behind him. He raised the sword, lightly pressing the cold steel against his forehead, and closed his eyes as he mumbled the words he always spoke before a battle:"Strength and speed may keep me alive, but only love will keep me going." The image of a woman suddenly flashed before his closed eyes. 'For you,' he thought.

As the army down below began to move, causing the very earth to tremble beneath their feet and sending a thundering roar through the air, the man raised his sword high and yelled at the top of his lungs. He knew that everything they had fought for, everything they had lived for, came down to this battle; if they lost, then everything was lost, but if they won, their people would finally have peace. Clearing his mind, the man rushed down the hill to face the enemy head on, and he knew that his men were close behind him. The battle did not last long.

As he laid on his back in the mud, exhaling the last air of his dying breath, the man helplessly watched the enemy storm past him up the hill. Nothing stood between them and their goal now; the last shred of resistance had just been wiped out almost effortlessly. 'We failed,' the man thought, letting his  head fall back as the world turned black.

Author's Note

I know it's crap, but I just had to write something. Please go easy on it.

Reviews

[Time Crosser]

On the contrary, i thought this piece was good, not perfect but good. Maybe adding some sort of description of the character refered to as "the man" in your story would help create more detail and enhance the storyline and give your character more importance in the story, i mean come on , he dies in the end. You don't have to give your character a name, but maybe describing his figure would create some sort of bond between this character and your readers thus making him seem more realistic and visual to the reader. Maybe mentioning something about his structure, skin tone, kind of clothing, any kind of battle scare and mentioning something about his position , the way he stood, his facial expression. Then again, maybe your point was to generalize the whole situation and purposely phrased your character as "the man" to speak for all solders in battle who fight for what they believe in as you mentioned in your piece. Either way, i'm sure this took quite a bit of your time and effort. Really, good job and keep it up.

[Ben Campbell]

It's not crap, but it's not your best writing.
"it gave them higher morale, as well as more to fight for." I think maybe:
"It helped morale and gave them something more to fight for." there aren't many places where 'as well as' really works well. Or maybe you could just leave it at "it helped morale" as having something more to fight for is something that helps morale, so we have a redundancy...sort of.....
Another thing: lighten up a bit. I know a dark tone is appropriate for this kind of piece but... I don't really know, I just think it's a little TOO dark. sorry can't really help you much there......