Why Being Poor was the Best Thing to Happen to Me

So there I was, twenty-something, making decent money, paying some bills, and mostly just doing whatever I felt like doing, because I had the means to do so, for the most part. In all honesty, I was not exactly frugile. I had everything I thought I needed, and whatever I wanted; Margarita nights, clothes, great food and everything in between. I believed that since I was a fuctioning member of society, I just deserved, and had to have these things, and absolutly rationalized this behavior.  I made plans every weekend without really considering a budgit. I went shopping whenever I got bored. At this point in my life, "the nicer things" just came as a normalcy. My life was fast, and chaotic, and stressful. But by-gosh, I had multiple pairs of nice boots, sparkly-posh blue jeans out the wazoo, a $120 phone bill (after my 50% employee discount, sadly) and on top of all that, I dined out daily.  I was also on depression medicine, which I felt wasn't really making a difference. My body was out of wack but I never really noticed, because everyone around me felt the same way, so if everyone feels the same way, that makes it normal right? And normal is good, so I kept on truck'n.
 And then one day adulthood struck... DUN DUN DUN. I was pregnant. This ment my current relationship and lifestyle would now have to make room for a family. Change was a horrible, icky feeling, even though it was a very slow progression.  I had maintained my own condo and car payment on my own previously, so I had made some small  cuts before, but nothing like this. Even with our parents help, we still struggled... A LOT.  At first I gave up eating out as much. Then I found myself shopping less. Then the worst happened. I had to say good bye to that outragous phone bill. This was hard because I was using 20+ GB of data monthly on streaming movies, numorous forms, and copious amounts of social media and financing  a fancy tablet inwhich I was basically paying an extra $30 per month to play virtual slots. FAIL. Poor me right? Poor Jenny had to start buying groceries. Poor Jenny had to stop buying fancy clothes. POOR JENNY WOULD NOW HAVE TO LIVE ON 2.5GB OF DATA... FOR A WHOLE MONTH. WHAT? This may not seem like the end of the world, but after the data is depleted you get dial up...  DIAL UP! I thought we were way past dial up, boy was I wrong. And you can't Snapchat, or Instagram, or go LIVE on Dial up-like speeds. I can't even Pokemon Go, I've never even played it. #Sadface right? Who's with me?
 But then something happened. We didn't (and still don't) have cable or sattalite and didn't have an antenna at the time, and I could no longer stream content constantly, so magically we weren't being bombbarded by product suggestions EVERY 6 Minutes. I stopped feeling like I needed to shop because I was bored or sad. I STOPPED BEING TOLD I HAD TO GO OUT AND ACCUMULATE MORE CRAP FOR NO GOOD REASON! I found new joy in cooking, something I was never super interested in before, now that I didn't have the means to survive on Pizza Hut, not to mention I was now growing a human for 9mos. I started reading lables and trying to make decent choices. I couldn't afford copious amounts of junk food, so I picked out 1 or 2 snacks I needed to sufice my sweet tooth. I was so excited over a slice of cheese cake, and oddly I apreciated it more, now that it was few and far between.  I found myself looking at my phone less and less. The friends that were only there for the fast times pretty much weeded themselves out when I couldn't be on social media constantly (snap chat, Instagram).  I started reading more because I needed entertainment, now I know more about the world around me than I ever have before. My knowledge expands daily, and it's so exiting.   My life slowed down. I was no longer chasing a ton of meaningless outlets. I had fewer eggs, so they all fit in one basket. And then it hit me like a ton of brick. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO EASILY PUT ALL MY FREAKIN EGGS IN ONE STINKIN BASKET. That's a marvelous revelation.
 Now I'm not saying it's been an easy ride, and a year and a half post baby we're still poor, unfortunatly. But it doesn't hurt my feelings. Not even a little. In fact it's impowering! I feel much more at peace. It's led me to being interested in growing my own food, being more concious about how much I waste, being smarter about the medicines I put in my body. I've slowed down and found natural coping skills and better routines, rather than bandaiding with anti depressants and other meds. No one on TV is telling me I need to go out and accumulate fancy new things that will inevitably just collect dust. And it turns out when you have less crap, you clean less crap. Imagine that. And I don't have to sell my crap for next to nothing to go buy more crap, because I'm ok with my old crap. Recently I wanted a new top to wear to a get together, but didn't have an extra $20 to shell out, so I just made one, myself. And when I wore my cool homemade shirt, everyone thought I bought it at a boutique, IT WAS SUCH A SUCH A NEAT FEELING! Now would I love the opportunity to spend $100 on some new threads, of course! Are there things I still want for, well yes. actually theres a Cricut cutting machine at the craft store calling my name this very second.  But I'm no longer a slave to these whims. I am just as happy spending $10 on myself at Goodwill most of the time, and the funny thing is, no one knows the difference. Happiness is hiding behind simplicity and self sufficiency. Go find it and be amazed for yourself! . I implore you to slow down, dig deeper, consume less, find hapiness in what you already have and produce things that you need yourself. You most certainly can not buy happiness. But sometimes, you can trip and fall into new habitis and maybe even a little enlightement of the soul.  It's rediculously cheap, and feels simply amazing, pun intended.

Author's Note

I can't spell, I just can't, sorry. (haven't managed to enable spell check on my win10)