The Puppets Dance

I reminisce upon the time. Female bodies were o  u  t  s t  r e c h e d limber and trained daily routines getting down onto the floor, the boys watching from the tiny gymnasium window view and pressure thinking, "nail it, every count." On cue crouched up jazz hands smash the air on bended knee swivel turn and quick kick jump freeze, pelvis in the air "my I'm almost as flexible I was at eight." Knees pop joints feather and swoosh legs in the air neck thrown back as we wave away tension and get on with the movement just us girls till six years later you come to realize it's the boys, those simple routines all just preparations your body went through were only for your being taken advantage, the men add you to the list and write you off as a black mark as you dance alone in your bedroom, wishing you could travel back, tell yourself, "your worst fears will soon be true."

Reviews

[Jon Gary Frost]

Great piece. One suggestion...as a reader the blocked together style made it a little tougher read. You use such vivid, but abstract images, and the reader could benefit from having this broken into stanzas. If you feel the piece loses integrity by formatting this way, then disregard. If not, stanzafy it.

My mind ebbed in and out of your imagery seeing pictures of actual dance vs metaphorical sexuality. You create such beautiful vessels with just enough vague emptiness that it allows the reader to fill in the blanks with their own experience. Not everyone likes such opaque writing, but I do.

I also love the modern feel of the font-play you used (bold, spaced words, strike-thru). Not enough people use this tool.

You seem to paint with words. I like.

[Miaria]

I loved this, very neat. I don't know if you have ever heard of a song by Vanessa Carlton and her song white houses but this reminded me out that.
It's my favorite song.

[kewlbluetiger]

Wow, what a thrill ride! I'm usually not a fan of format editing put you REALLY pulled it off here. I love it. I think I'm getting used to your style. Really strong message at the end you deliver with. The final lines are genius. Love how you underlined preparation and it seems a turning point to the realization. Great write. Keep up the good work!

[Tobias Wall]

I love the fonts and sizes and all that stuff changing throughout...it makes the mental picture that much more vivid. "Your worst fears will soon be true" = favorite line. To think, all that preparation when ladies are younger does in no small way lead to that which you've eluded to. As a man, it's nice to see a woman's view of the subject, as it keeps my mind open and fresh.
Good Write!