When the Leaves Change

Broken promises and the pitfalls of October.

Thorned weed shrub branching out

Expanding, looming

Unpullable obstruction, no different from that

Pink Floyd slow motion movie scene:

A single red drop of gore

Split by ground

It makes no sound, yet

The backlash hovers, cascades

Inevitable month ten tidal wave

 

All I can give you:

Seven months into

This year

You want me in a box with no holes

To watch me squirm?

I'm not your worm

I'M NOT

YOUR WORM.

 

 

Author's Note

Too many commas?

Reviews

[Jaffa Forbes]

Hey there! The punctuation looks okay at the moment, although I'm really not the best one to comment on grammar! The rest of the poem is quite interesting, kind of odd reading a poem about october in the spring, but you pull me back quite well. Last stanza is cool, love the anger at the end. One suggestion would be to change the last two lines to 'I am not your worm / I AM NOT YOUR WORM'. Small difference I know but I think it makes a more definate statement. But really, it's very good as it is. Well done! Like reading your stuff. Send me read requests any time (I do get round to them eventually!)
Jaff

[Boris Jonathan Novak]

Another great work. The use of imagery is stunning, raw, and powerful. How many of us have felt this? I'm sure so many of us can relate.

This is what the art of poetry is all about. Superb!

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

i like it as is...