Collapse

1st poem I have written in years, 1st draft.

Perpetually parched
Shallowed breath
Eternal exhaustion
The weight of a thousand years
The mind of an adolescent
The dreams of a child
The need to break free

I've burned many a bridge
Been burned over and over
At the stake
There is no balance
There is no consistency
Only extremes
And now,
Total isolation and malcontent
Consistently misunderstood
The decision to deteriorate
Or completely rebuild every single thing
From scratch
There is no in-between

I've spent my entire life fighting
Ever birth
Prematurely I was thrust from the womb
At four and half pounds and undeveloped lungs
I wasn't supposed to be here
I was supposed to be someone else
I've spent my entire life fighting
For the freedom to be able
To integrate these dreams into my
Waking life
Instead
I am both sleepwalking and frighteningly awake
Fighting against all arbitrary structures
I
Have instead aged rapidly
Wondering what happened with these
Years past
Always pointing out the elephant in the room
Never being able to conform
Has instead landed me
In a self-created prison
Of which I can no longer escape
I am undoubtedly only
Half-alive