Some consequence hanging in the stars

Some consequence hanging in the stars

A Poem by Amanda Avalon
"

spring 2003

"

Some consequence hanging in the stars

 

 

She’s living a nightmare

Tossing and turning but wide awake

Eyes shifting rapidly at 5:37PM

De-sensitized again

Like magic or hellfire

 

There is no way to escape

You thought it was over?

Well, think again

Again and again

Throat burning from sickness

Or the screams held within

Recalling a time looking down over the Sierra Nevada

Of vertigo

Seven months ago

She was 3,000 miles away from you

Above it all

A mile-and-a-half fall

The wind couldn’t knock her down

Over the hazy town

Over the bliss

Of Loss Angeles

 

 

*And although it keeps coming back I can taste it again it’s on the tip of my tongue I just can’t anticipate I just can’t see it happening anymore I want my cake and to eat it too it’s so close yet so far away*

 

 

Body frigid untouched, yet aching

Waiting for nothing to come along but Temperance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2008 Amanda Avalon


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Reviews

Well it's certainly a catchy piece! :P Albeit, the different formatting is a bit confusing. I really love how it starts out, that she's living a nightmare, wide awake at 5:37.....I think just that simple little paragraph states so much. The only things that didn't quite make sense to me were A) like I said, the formatting, and B) the title. I know that the title is the first said line in this poem, but...what consequences are in the stars? The body of the poem doesn't really relate to that at all. I wouldn't suggest editing the poem itself--I love it just the way it is--but I would maybe suggest thinking of a title that relates more closely to what you're talking about. But no biggie!! All in all, I thought it was a great piece. ^.^ Good job!

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on March 19, 2008
Last Updated on April 4, 2008

Author

Amanda Avalon
Amanda Avalon

NV



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I'm in search of new inspirations. more..

Writing