Daily Dose of September Adrenaline

Golden leaves tumult

down an invisible spiral.  They

follow in a train,

one by one, softly downwards,

each mimicking the path of the other. 

 

Children play follow the leader

in a circle: endless. 

Except for one; the confused,

the dumb,

the one who went astray.

This one circles to counter the rest,

freakish,

and falling softly downwards. 

 

The ground arrives as pavement:

white strips on black tar.  

Face against the gravel, black rubber

is immediate fate. 

Pressure against the frail,

ribs crack in instantaneous sequence, veins contort

and tear to shreds.

Perfect living

symmetry undoes itself fatalistically.

Crunch.

 

Screams echo. 

A single sound releases barrels of adrenaline. 

Children don't care,

and leave a mess of golden orange and red

to vanish in the wind;

they run to squish more leaves.

Reviews

[ArieannexAntithetic]

Wow.
I just adore this poem.
It drags the reader in with all the personifications and metaphors...
I would have never thought it was about leaves if I didn't read the first and last stanzas...
Props for this!
I love the part
"Pressure against the frail,
ribs crack in instantaneous sequence, veins contort
and tear to shreds.
Perfect living
symmetry undoes itself fatalistically.
Crunch."
Wonderful...just wonderful! You deserve a leafy hug from me!
*hugs and crunches* =D

[Last Lying Look]

I really like this.
It's interesting.
I'd have to say that my favorite part is:
"Children play follow the leader
in a circle: endless.
Except for one; the confused,
the dumb,
the one who went astray.
This one circles to counter the rest,
freakish,
and falling softly downwards. "
This part really stood out to me.
Great write.
-Elissa :)