Young Wife's First Goodbye WWI

Set in the Time of WWI Part One

Standing at the station like so many before

Long gone to that other world they explore.

Left here alone with all this weight

Questions of 'who and where' taint.

 

But how could I ever ask you not to go?

Goodbyes are so hard, so painful, so....

My heart leaks, breaks, and the evidence flows down my face.

Why is it us that must fill this space?

 

I dream of the brevity of our final kiss.

Dare I speak of all that you will miss?

War is so big, bigger than you and I!

Please, don't notice that I too see you cry.

 

Into your lap, oh War, my husband I do give.

Why do you determine who to kill by where they live?

War, oh War, return home to me, my man.

Without him, breathing I don't know if I can.

 

So with this final salutation we do part.

Your silhouette leaves a permanent stain on my heart.

 

Author's Note

I think there are misspellings. Do you see any?

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

a subject dear to my heart The firsdt world war produced so much fine poetry by young men doomed to die too young. To see it through a womans eyes opens up new vistas to explore. They also serve who are left behind to wait in hope

Nicely presented in rhyming quatrains although your meter is a little off in places

[Christine]

If there were any misspellings I didn't notice, too caught up in your imagery, I was. Wonderful poem. It may have been written for WW1 but this really could be now too. I know lots of women/men who feel this way today, as they watch their husbands/wives and boyfriends/girlfriends deploy for the Middle East. Great job. I loved this, really loved this.

Christine :-)

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

This took my breath away. Very nicely written.

[W.k.kortas]

It's a very interesting idea, and deals with a very interesting time in history, and--even though WWI produced a great deal of poetry, some of which was very good--this takes a different tack. I think using rhyme was not the best choice for this piece; this is the type of idea that would work well as first-person narrative poetry without the rhyme, and I think the demands of the rhyme scheme box you in and serve to create some clunky lines. This is a wonderful idea, and you have some nice insights, but I think you have the potential for a much better piece if you drop the rhyming.