Rainy Antidote

Practicing couplets, making quatrains....I think I like it! Ha!

Drops of the sky's tears descend

Echoing my sentiments to the world they lend

A broad portrait of my overcast mood

Sulking I hunch at my door and brood

 

I feel as one with the rainy cover

Like a nestling overcoat, the sky seems to hover

The heavens are pregnant with mist

Upon my closed eyelids raindrops kissed

 

The mist filled breeze whispers in my ear

Ironically I find solace in what others fear

Sun's somber light grazes my cheek

From behind the fog it's struggling to peek

 

The forecast alleviates my lonely ache

Rainfrogs and crickets' melody any day I would take

Dances of perpetual rain lull me to sleep

Content and dreamy into your rainy song I go deep

Author's Note

Properly revised. Thank you, you know who you are.

Reviews

[Sound]

Very good! I like the effect you create with the different colors of the stanzas. Like the change in the scenery when rain falls, and the sproutlings afterwards.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

So many emotions can be found in the rain. A lovely entry for my contest.

Thanks for sharing


The forecast alleviates my lonely ache

Rainfrogs and crickets' melody any day I would take

Dances of perpetual rain lull me to sleep

Content and dreamy into your rainy song I go deep

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

I love this rhyming poem. I'm a rhymer.

[Kevin]

I'm pretty new here. However I enjoyed your poem very much, it makes me want to reconsider my view about rainy days. Thank you.

[R J Askew]

I'll just add that -- after reading your Affair With The Sun poem -- it is great to see your capacity to go through the mood gears. And it is great to see you slipping into form here, again in comparison to the freer spirit of the other poem.

[Mr. Deft Diction]

Truly beautiful read. This is my first introduction to you, and I have to say that, already, you inspire me.

I will be back again. Thank you for your gift.

Peoples

[CharlieO]

A really wonderful poem - full of detail and imagery.
This is a really well written poem - I think you got the rhyme just right - not forced - it flows well. The pace and sounds of the words created an almost dream like feel.
Congrats.

[bailish]

I associate a lot of feelings with the weather. This helped to bring some of them out.

Pleasant read.

[David Lewis Paget]

Quite impressive, an articulate representation of that introverted mood the rain brings on. I like your rhyme scheme as well, except for the final verse which I think was forced. The 'I go deep' and 'I would take' are a little clumsy, and tend to throw the reader somewhat. Your best line is - 'Sulking I hunch at my door and brood'. Pure imagery! (However, I think a comma after 'Sulking' would improve it for me).
David.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

I like your quatrains. Good word choices, good imagery!

Sal